The Child Who Defies

Children.
I have been dealing with children in my profession about 3 or so years ago,ever since I started teaching at an international school.

At the first glance, most children seem simple, shallow-minded, innocent. What care do they have in the world?

However, as every educator of children would, I soon faced with problems of misbehaviour. Distruption of the classroom, defiance of instructions, hurting others, destroying properties, all are but a few of very common behavioural problems within a classroom.

Having found myself in situations where I feel trapped in a classrooms full of destructive kids and just struggling to survive, I have certainly learned a thing or two about them.

I have learned that...

They are not monsters at all, they are just kids.
Kids whom you can talk to, listen to, chat with, share things in common with.
Kids with stories to tell - sad, joyful, funny, inspiring - yes, even the worst ones.

If they misbehave in your class, they probably have deeper problems outside of the classroom.
Some could be dealing with friend issues - like bullying, acceptance, self-esteem issues, among others - but most commonly problems at home.

Family problems affect younger children the most.
Among the dozens of students I've spoken to regarding distruptive behaviours in and outside of the classroom, many have problems within their families such as divorce or an absent parent (may be due to frequent travelling, tight working schedules or living with a guardian).

Problems such as divorce affect younger children the most. The sudden change in family dynamics, or the prospect of it can cause drastic changes in behaviour, causing them to be destructive or attention seeking.

Many kids are overly pressured these days.
Perhaps you might have seen an "unhappy child". This is not your kid who throws a tantrum in the mall when the parents won't buy that candy bar.
Unlike most kids, they hardly get excited over the little things that excite most children like a toy or a candy bar.
When they can barely hold up their heavy school bag, they are already too worried about their test results next week, going to one tuition after another, and taking multiple language lessons, music, art, ballet, taekwando, swimming, badminton, mental arithmatic, computer... and the list goes on and on. Some superkids.

Simply put, they were expected to achieve too much for too young an age.

Encouraging children to aim for excellence and develop skills and interests outside of the classroom is not a bad thing at all. Infact, it helps build a child to become a better person.

But the problem starts when parents make demands for them to perform, in ways that they couldn't, and as a result, withdraw love from them.

We as a society have become so associated with quantitative achievement, failing which may result in a scolding, nagging, corporal punishment, cold treatment, ostracising, shaming, etc. so much that it makes a child believe that they have to earn a parent's love, affection and attention. And that there is no such thing as an unconditional love. Yes, not even a parent's love.

What kind of person will that become? In my opinion, either one who lacks self-worth or is overly materialistic.

Kids that are the most problematic as the ones who need most of our love.
Their problematic behaviour is often a sign that they are lacking in love somewhere - could be at home, could be the school, could be their social circle.

But we as educators, the least we could to for them is to give as much love as we can to them. To see them as people, whom we want to understand and help, and not just mindless animals we need to try to control.

Many destructive behaviour are either imitations of behaviours they have witnessed in adults, an expression of the hurt, pain and anger they felt inflicted by others, or an outlet to release pent-up frustrations from pressures around them - an expression of their unmet needs.

Speak to them and empathise with them by learning their back story. You'd be surprised how mature they really are, how complex their emotions can be, how observant they are of the world, and how sensitive they are to the little things that matter - things that makes us all human.

Children are just children
They are people, just like you and me, only in a smaller body, and probably a more limited vocabulary.
But they are also here to learn, for they don't know.
They have hopes and dreams, ambition and disappointment.
They have the most desire to please, to love and be loved. Otherwise, they just want you to pay attention!
They may not be the way we want them to be, but they have to be allowed to be who they are.

Children need to be allowed to be children - to learn through play, to make mistakes, to be allowed to fail to learn, to find their natural strengths and talents, to love and be forgiving by being loved and being forgiven.

There is no one way to raise a child. Like they said, "Treat your children equally by treating them differently."

Each child is different and unique, and responds differently to different forms of upbringing. But one can only know what's best by giving your full love, attention and acceptance of who the child is and have the potential to be.

No one is perfect, but everyone is trying their best.
Everyone, young and old, including ones who seemed to be failing at what they do, really are trying their best. 
Every parent, every teacher, really are doing what they think is best for the children.

Just that sometimes, what we think is best may not be the best.

But we keep trying, we keep learning, asking, observing, hopefully, it's as close to perfect as we can get.  


So, what have you learned about children and people?

Mind or Body?

Like most people, I used to think that choreograping a dance is about converting the image in my mind to the physical world. When I was teaching myself dance as a kid, I would see movements in my head, probably something similar to what I've seen on TV and will try to perform it by myself. For the most part, it works ok. It's how most people do it anyway, when they want to create/imitate/learn a dance.

However, things changed when I first started class with my teacher, Ms. Mew. She taught me that dance doesn't come from the mind, it comes from the body. And you just have to let your body do it, and you would know how to dance.

In our classes, we worked mostly on improvisation, where each of us get to interpret the music given according to our style, with her guidance. Of course, as most people would, I just danced in the ways that I think dance should be. When I listen to music, I often had images in my head, and I will just try my best to imitate it, and hopefully learn how to execute more complex moves in the future, those jumps and spins and tumbles that I wouldn't dare to try now.


Letting the body do the dance

Many years passed since then. Now I've learned that the body really does very different, sophisticated things when you let it, that the key is to let go of control. Sometimes, we are so stubborn and egoistic of what we want, we just failed to listen - and in this case, listen to our body.

Personally, not only I've discovered that it dances very differently and develops completely unexpected movements, in flow with one another, I've also discovered that it gives you flexibility, alignment and healing, just as you let it. There is also a lesser tendency to feel incapable of performing what I think I "want" to do, than what I am really doing.


Being a choreographer

However, being a choreographer brings out a different set of circimstances. Very often, the choreography for a group of more than 2 dancers will involve some measure of mental visualisation.
 
In an improvised dance piece, I am able to choreograph using my dancers' bodies, directing them for the artistic outcome I would like to achieve.

However, choreographing for more structured dance steps require a closer blend of my own body movements and my imagination. But it is still much more helpful to be able to play with spacing and arrangements when there is an opportunity to work with the dancers present.


Dancing with mind or body?

So, do dance with your mind or your body?
Have you talked to your body and connect closely with your body?
Anything new you discovered about it lately?

A Good Philosophy

A good philosophy or principle, should be one which serves you well, and one which you can apply to multiple areas - be it a philosophy in dance, movements or in life.

I find that once I build a philosophy, situations in life will challenge it. The challenges mostly serve to strengthen or debunk my believes. In other areas, they caused me to question if I should continue pursuing an activity which appears not to be in-line with my principle or philosophy.

Why develop philosophies?

Because it is easier to navigate the complexities of life once you have a central belief system to be your guide, your core value, your compass. A strong belief system can guide you anywhere in life.

Just like how you can perform any dance well, with a well developed core.

And like in life, once you understand how movement aesthetics can be achieved, it is easy to learn and perform all kinds of dance gracefully - because all well-developed artforms would have eventually arrived at the same conclusion about its aesthetic philosophies,

A good teacher

A good teacher should be able to teach movement based on priciples; the origins of movement, how to use your core for support, how to genuiely look relaxed yet large on stage - and will not make you do multiple mis-aligned movements at a time.

A good dance technique should be sustainable; can be practiced for long periods and mutliple times without causing injuries (as long as your mind remains focused), keeping both performance aesthetics and your well-being in mind.

The catch

If you are a ballet dancer dancing on point, you may find that no amount of technique mastery can alleviate the pain of the pressure being put on your toes. However, the right technique should significantly minimise the pressure by effectively distributing the load throughout your body.

So

What philosophies have you developed about your dance and your movements?
Do you learn multiple types of dances? What philosophies or principles about movements that may have helped you navigate across the various genres?

My long hiatus...

The year of 2011 was an eventful year for me as a performer and as a person. It was the year I had pushed myself to take more dance courses and perform more publicly.

Short+Sweet 2011 - Her Story: A Conversation

I did the ASWARA Short Course, tango, attended workshops by Lee Swee Keong, Michael Xavier Voon, and others, created a few new works - The Time Traveller, The White Scarf, and Her Story: A Conversation. I performed at a few small events, took part in Short+Sweet, which is the most exhausting, did PenangPAC opening ceremony and Pebbles, both with Rivergrass.

Myself and Angeline in a moment of truth...

At the same time, I was also working hard on the school concert. Despite handling such a large team of performers, I knew I reallly wanted to polish the performance quality in my students, where I dug deep into each and everyone of my dancers to get the best of them onto the stage.

It was also the year that I felt I have grown the most, facing myself, my weaknesses and building up my strengths. I had realigned my body, my mind, and my emotions.

Needless to say, the year left me exhausted. My juice was sucked dry. But more than that, all that realignment has left me with a strange new me. I didn't know what to do or how to dance with this new me. I stopped all existing dance activities and decided to go back to basics. I took ballet classes. But then I stopped, and I went back to contemporary. All in all, I have not been able to create anything for myself since the beginning of the year.

I needed the time to reflect, to settle in to my new body, learn about it, to tell new stories about myself, my life - a happier one, definately.

After so many month, I'm beginning to get some glimpses of new possibilities. I am looking forward to more dances to come, reflecting a freshed, newer me!

So, what does your creativity mean to you? How have your growth changed the works you produced? How do you come back from a long dry spell? Feel free to share your thoughts...

Till then, happy creating!

How to Really Jazz It Up...

Speaking of jazz, tap, broadway musicals and the like...

Do you love watching them? They surely are enjoyable, and a good show never fails to put a smile on your face!

But what makes a great jazz dancer?

You probably have a few jazz/musical dance performance you have in mind that was memorable and enjoyable, and if you are a dance student, may have tried doing.

In a lively number, the dancers would carry a disposition of happiness, joyousness, playfulness, showing how carefree they are with wide-open arms, opening their hearts with big smiles on their faces.

With the ladies, it's always with at least abit more sassy-sauciness, hinting how naughty and playful they are, teasing both the audience and the performing counterparts confidently, leaving everyone hanging on to their fingertips.

When I needed to choreograph a Singing In The Rain piece for my school concert, I started by watching the movie clip from youtube, and I instantly fell in love with the song, the dance, but most of all, Gene Kelly's charm and enthusiasm. Needless to say, it instantly puts a smile on my face. I knew that I would love to choreograph it, and that the kids would enjoy dancing to it.

Gene Kelly singing in the rain...

In a dance that requires movements to be BIG and expressions are BIG, it is easy to go overboard with doing too much, (although in musicals, the levels of acceptance are pushed a little further than others, as expressions are occasionally exaggerated for effect).

But a how does a good performer do BIG, without going overboard?

it stays true to emotions - meaning, instead of just a "blown up" kind of expression, it is instead an honest form of expression, like how a child or a baby would act, when overcame with glee.

But you might notice as well, that good performers are able to act out very subtly, those genuine moments of ease and calm, amist the all excitement - using a day-to-day gesture, a wink, an eyebrow raised, a smile - but secretly impregnanting the moment with anticipation, bulding up the pace for that one high point.

When I showed my student's this video, the saw a whole new level of enthusiasm! They noticed how playful he was and how he happy he is, finding new love and all. It truly conveys the meaning of "the joy of dance."

So, if you wanna do jazz, perhaps, you may ask yourselves these questions:
1. Do you dare to be BIG and stand out?
2. Do you dare to be different, be brave and be playful?
3. Can you embody that happy disposition, put on a smile on your face that is as bright as the sun?
4. Are you a happy person? Can you be happy in your mind, in your core, all through your hands and feet, and in all the muscles on your face, from your heart and through your eyes?

C'mon with the rain,

I've a smile on my face...

 

Until next time, happy dancing... :)

Fear.

Everybody has fears.

Most of us were taught to fear our fears, growing up. Fear is used to hold us back from doing what society doesn't want us to do... such as making alot of noise, or being naughty.

As an adult, I still feel overwhelmed with fear, wherever that came from. And if you are familiar with fear, you would know that it's very, very crippling. (such as the fear of success)

The most pressing fear I am having now is the fear sharing information with the world. I didn't like socialising as much as most people do. I was afraid that the more informaiton I reveal about myself, the more I would be "found out". Found out about what? Is there really something to hide?

Upon introspection, I find that my fear of success stem from my school days, over the course of my primary years through my university days.

Back in my lower primary years, I was a high-achiever - always aiming to be at the top of the class, not content with 98% marks, aiming for the hundreds - and constantly living with the pressure of falling, of being called "sombong" or arrogant in Malay, by my classmates. I was afraid of making mistakes in my exam papers, and at the same time, I don't want to be judged that way, because I am certainly not an arrogant child nor one who likes to show off. But ofcourse, that level of perfectionism is sometimes perceived as arrogance by some, or perhaps I had unintentionally done so.

Inevitably, one has to give way to pressure. My grades starts to drop. And by the time I entered secondary school, I am one of those hanging on at the last position of the top class (that I have always been in), just praying that I wont get kicked into the second class or so. There, I hanged on for the rest of my schooling years. I was glad I made it through with grades good enough to enroll in a reasonably good course in a good university.

After finishing secondary year 5, I was admitted to MMU (Multimedia University) and started my foundation course to a degree in Creative Multimedia.

During my first term there, I was pretty exited. It was like getting a second chance in life - moving in to the hostel, studying a course that I am more interested in than all that mumble-jumble stuffs in school, new friends, new environment; I wanted to recreate a life like how it was back in my primary days - being a high achiever instead of a slacker, I wanted to be successful again!

But soon, the temptations of uni life proofed to be too hard to resist - Broadband internet, mmorpg, boyfriend, late-nite chats - by the time I entered my First Year, I was back to a slacker. By the end of my Second Year, I already felt the need to hide and run from alot of people - friends, class mates and lecturers, keep a low profile, fly below the radar - just so not to draw so much attention to my failures, my truancy, late submissions and the like. I have always stuggled with procrastination (and eventually learned from this productivity enthusiast) and along the way, discovered some strange, self-sabotaging behaviours; e.g. if I tell people about my progress, my work will simply stall there, without further progress. Therefore, I start to avoid talking about my work.

All those year, I constantly carry this overwhelming sense of guilt and shame, that when I meet people face to face, they would judge me for my weaknesses. So I avoided meeting people. I went on friend-hopping, knowing them only long or deeply enough to complete assignments and group works, but avoiding intimacy. I didn't want them to know how weak I really am.

Interestingly, when I did my final-year-project in Virtual Reality, I started a blog to log my progress. I temporarily overcame my procrastinating tendencies by fully immersing myself in the process and allowing myself to be vulnerable by reporting even the blunder or mistake I've made. Being a perfectionist, I had to tell myself to "post it up no matter how ugly I think it is." It seemed to work.

So here I am, posting it up, embracing my fear (like this guy here), even though it's ugly. What do you think?

Posture and Alignment

Awhile ago, I attended a tango workshop held by a visiting tango teacher who is also a physiologist.

While her workshop was about the basics of close embrace tango, she spent most of the time focusing on posture and alignment to create the right “connection” (the most important element esp. in close embrace as connection is harder to form and the tight space between the partners demands a higher level of synchronicity). Of course, many experienced tangueros and tangueras were able to benefit from it, for the most part, because posture and alignment is the basis of movement itself, whatever form it is.

In the workshop, she taught us about what a healthy tango posture is like, and how a good connection means that we can feel each other’s legs even when we’re

During my first few months of tango, I had struggled with balancing and other connection issues.

It took me awhile to try and decode the dance itself. I was frustrated about being stuck in the beginner class, as I am more than astute with musicality and steps and basic stuffs like that, being a dancer.

I stopped going for classes and focus on practicing on the dance floor instead, while I try to decode the dance and because I don’t believe in just learning the steps.

The first turning point was when one popular, regional tango teacher visited, conducted one class and subsequently a workshop. I felt so relieved to realize that what was wrong was really my posture. The hand hold wasn’t right, the shoulder too stiff and what not. Of course, I was also being either too strong, trying to lead the leader or I totally lost my balance and control of my centre (I will write another article about tango and relationships)

I changed a couple of things about my posture and my dancing improved. But I still wasn’t very balanced. One other teacher during another workshop commented that my bum was sticking out. Hmm… it’s really hard to know what you’re doing when you’re just trying to focus on what you leader is trying to get you to do. So later, I learned to suck my bum in while I danced, and surely, I found much more balance in my steps.

However, my posture and alignment at that time was still pretty rubbish. There has always been a serious posterior tilt in my pelvis and tight posterior hip muscles, making my bum look like it’s always dropping behind. I have tried strengthening my core muscles, but somehow, it just failed to include the support for the base of my torso. At that time, I seemed to have accepted it as a natural state of my posture.

Until one day, a fellow tanguero shares a post from tangoandchaos.org on facebook about tango etiquette and the like. I started browsing around the site and found that the author of the website have a really deep and insightful knowledge and understanding of the dance, having an Argentinian girlfriend who is a very good tango salon dancer and having spent some years studying old milongueros closely, documenting their technique, their style and each of their uniqueness, which may vary, as tango salon is a truly improvisational and open for interpretations and independent development.

What is common however, is that the techniques of the dancers has evolved over the years, from their beginnings in the 1920’s to a very efficient, effective form. That the alignments and the postures the dancers adopt would be the most comfortable and healthy for their routine daily doses of dances, that can go on for hours. You can imagine if they don’t have a good posture, they may not even be able to dance anymore, as most of them would be around their 70s.

Studying his articles on posture, weight placement and style, I started practicing some of it, and found a strange disconnect between my torso and my hips (which I first started noticing when trying to improve my ochos). But now I realised that I can’t do a lot of things because of the disconnect! It’s still hard to balance myself, I can’t feel my leader’s legs, and I followed badly.

So I spend many hours, pushing my pelvis forward, finding that hip-torso connection, perfecting my walk, and finding a new muscle, my illiop psoas. I must say that finding this group of muscles was life changing to me, (or at least my posture). These muscles has been so weak and so underutilized, no wonder my body keeps compensating by tightening other muscles.

In the process of realignment, I also found and tightened my pelvic floor muscles and truly understood the meaning of “zipping up my core muscles.”

The realignment of my pelvis was a wonderful experience for me. I felt, for the first time, like I had a physical enlightenment, I was so thankful, so joyful, and dancing felt so different and wonderful! For the first time, my arms felt so free and long, like it can reach out to the world! I was also starting to feel more flexible, more balanced, and when I went back to tango, I was having the time of my life! I no longer need to worry about balance, or fearing what my leader is expecting me to do. I was just gliding along the dance floor, all the way…

Warning!:

1.        The realignment procedure will demand much greater core strength than when you are maligned – because your muscles have been trained to be wrong for so long.

2.       When we correct one problem area, other related problems that have been able to hide will tend to surface itself. So if you did realign or is consider realigning your posture, and if a different problem surfaces,:

a.       Check to see if you are doing it right

- Some muscles might need to tighten, but stiffening yourself up is not the right way either. Remember, our body is meant to be relaxed, lengthened, firm and flexible, not stiff and rigid.

- Learn to ask your body questions – What is right? What is natural? What do you need to do? What is the right way to do this? Learn to be an observer and let your body answer you this.

b.      If you’re doing it right, you don’t have to worry. Just focus on correcting the new problem instead. It might be strengthening or releasing certain muscles, or healing old injuries. If you can learn how to allow your body to do it right for you, then you should know what feels right and what doesn’t.

Until next time,

Happy dancing!

Jennifer

Core strengthening

Recently, I offered one of my girl some guidance to correct her posture and use of muscles. This girl takes ballet classes outside of school. I was choreographing a dance which she was the main character in, and I decided to include her doing some pirouettes in the dance. However, I noticed much stiffness in her shoulders while she was turning. She also habitually strains her neck muscles in pulling it long.

I saw that her strain stems from a weak core and pelvic floor. I guided her in a few floor exercises to strengthen these areas as well as activate her psoas muscles, all the while guiding her with words like lengthening and ask you body what to do. She responded well to these cues. When we tested fondus and grand battemands on the barre, the light on her face was the most satisfying expression of all... She was so happy that it all felt so different. I was moved.

Later, I instructed her to stand in first position and to squeeze in her pelvic floor muscles and zip up her abdomens, her neck and shoulders starts releasing in the way that she had never felt before! It was so amazing and I am so happy for her.

Her pirouette still needs work, and I'm confident that we will get to that soon.

But the philosophy?

Strenghten your core and your tensions will be relieved.
Dance is meant to be enjoyable, relaxing and stress free, but doing so requires you having a strong core. Keep your head and your sense of direction too.


Cheers...