I Have A Dream...

I do what I do, simply because I have a dream. Sometimes I forget, but I want to remember, and I want to share it with people, with people who may be dreaming the same dream as I do...

• I dream of making this world a better place, where people live in peace and love one another.
• Where people are not so rushed or hurried to pursue the riches in life, but take their time and feel one another, and feel the world, feel their existence in the world.
• I live, in a slower pace than most people around me. Perhaps I could slow down the hurried, the overly rushed, and make them feel and think, and enjoy their presence, here in the world... just like how nature, moves slowly, but surely.
• I dream that we would be kind to one another, that we would make decisions that considers the best interests of one another, that understand its effects and consequences to one another, that we do not simply take from others, what is not ours.
• I dream that we could live in harmony with nature, that we learn to realise that it is nature that offers us the greatest abundance, enough for all of us to share, that there is no need to fight or to steal or to compete.
• That our need for abundance does not need to be in conflict with the very nature of the universe, of our existence...

The Pressures We Put On Ourselves

About 2 years ago, I had a major breakthrough in my work with my body. I was finally able to understand how it feels to be truly aligned and released.

However, I was working in a static state, not dynamic - as in standing still vs. movements. The wonderful alignment cannot be sustained as I have yet to develop the necessary muscles to uphold that posture. To do so would take constant work of daily alignment and exercise. In addition to that, I have discovered some dormant muscle injury that was the result of an electro-acupuncture session gone wrong. It was an extremely challenging phase, not only physically, but also emotionally. Soon I slowly let it go, the old habits took over again and I lost that wonderful feeling.

2 years on, I find myself stuck at my performance level, and that there is no way to move forward other than to deal with my alignment again. This time, with a more prepared and positive mind set, and I opt to work more dynamically.

You see, the benefits of working dynamically (with movement) is that you are constantly building muscle and conditioning your movement habits as you work - rather than just "stacking" your joints and expect them to stay there.

So last week, during my dance sessions, as I was working on my body, I discovered 2 habits that was holding me back.

1. There is a sensation of pulling back/clawing down along my middle-lower back muscles.
My teacher commented about my habit of contracting that part of my back to develop an arch and to extend my legs backwards. Now I suddenly realised how dominant that sensation was in my overall body posture.

2. As I work to release that sensation, I found another, even more influential force that is holding me down - there is a pressure over the top of my head that is pressing me down.

Well, technically, it was me, putting that pressure on myself. But it did felt like an invisible hand pushing down on me. It's still me.

So what I did was, I mentally "opened up" this pressure over the top of my head, like opening a box and letting the sensation out.
The mantra I gave to myself was to "believe in the higher power," that is to trust the natural forces to hold up my body, instead of me trying do push myself up.

The counter force to that is also the ground. Dynamically speaking, the more force going downwards, the more counter force there is going upwards, which is how an extended, lengthened body comes about.

So the second mantra was to "believe in the ground I am stepping on." It is the sensation of developing trust, that all is fine.

This sensation extends the highly contracted muscles in my legs, especially my quadriceps and calves.

It is a wonderful load of pressure released from my body from these 2 exercises.

I hope that my sharing of my experiences can benefit your practices as well.

Until next time, warm regards...

Energy, Vibrations and Holistic Wellness

"Everything has vibrations," as physicists, people who dabble in energy works, law of attraction and the likes would tell you.

Sounds are made of vibrations. We all know that. But movements too has vibrations. You and me, as human beings, too, has vibrations.

Vibrations are emissions of energy. We are an energy conductor. Energy flows through us, and into other things, through our actions, our thoughts, our words, into the things we create, and it is passed along as we go.

In Chinese philosophy, we call this chi or qi. In Hindu philosophy, it is Prāṇa. Both come to mean life force or vital energy.

And in our bodies, there are centres or magnetic fields which are said to generate, conduct or store this energy. The dantian in Chinese, and chakra in Sanskrit. These are a series of vital points in our body which corresponds with vital organs. The specific understanding of these points, and its number may vary between teachings, but generally, these series of points runs across the centre of the human torso, from the base all the way up to the head. 

Imbalance, stagnation or blockage in these centres are said to cause symptoms of physical ailments and certain behavioural problems.


For example, a blockage in the 3rd Chakra may defined by physical symptoms of indigestion. Emotionally, it may be expressed in the form of anxiety and extreme introversion. Mentally, this person may feel very disempowered and fearful in his or her life.

It's just a Chicken & Egg story

For some, the study of these metaphysical philosophies seem like superstition or beyond logic. After all, not everyone can claim that they can see auras or other people's energy fields.

However, these are just another branch of study that helps us understand and assess the human condition as a whole. Unlike western medicinal principals which only focuses on the anatomy, eastern philosophies acknowledge the correlation between the mind, body, emotion and spirit as being inseparable. It is a definition of our whole being, and a shift in one aspect, will inevitably effect all others.

Take the 3rd chakra as an example again. A weakness in this area can also be seen posturally, in a collapsed abdomen, weak core muscles - or can even be simply defined as a hunch or a slouch. In movement, he or she may find difficulty in opening up the abdomens, such as in a back arch.

The Correlations

There is a direct relationship to how the various aspects of ourselves affect one another. For example, an external event may had happened to trigger one person, a person A to experience anxiety and panic attacks. With that this person is constantly fearful and loses confidence in himself. This lack of confidence manifests itself into his posture, causing him to slouch. The emotional turmoil will also develop as digestion problems and breathlessness. The bad posture and digestion problem will eventually create a downward spiral in his overall health and well-being, and this will eventually be obvious in his overall (lack of) glow or aura. His new postural position too, is already causing (and is also the result of) the collapse in his internal organs, which will in turn develop tense muscles in his neck, shoulders and lowerback, while giving him a larger lower belly. And a weakened life force in turn creates more havoc in our overall system. The longer he stay that way, the more hard-wired his system is to this setting, and the more solidly it manifests itself. After some time, you can't really tell anymore, which problem is causing what.

When met with doctors or healers, he will be given a different description of the diagnosis.

Anxiety. Indigestion. Blockage. Bad posture.

Tackling all

It may sound like a bad news that one thing can effect so many aspects of us.

But it is also a good news! Because, it is possible that changing one part of ourselves can positively effect another.

For example, awareness and practice in good posture will relief the energy blockage in that area. Not only that, a change in posture also automatically sends a different message to our minds, forcing us to be more positive and optimistic about life. A good energy healing session leaves us feeling invigorated and healthy again. A good counselling or coaching session may help us overcome a traumatic event. Medication and exercise may leave us healthier and therefore more positive about life again.

However, as I mentioned above, some situations start to get pretty sticky, when other symptoms have become pretty stubborn over time.

And the best way, ofcourse, is to be able to address as many of these aspects as possible to enable rapid recovery and growth. It is the reason why, doctors have now found that medication, coupled with counselling and spiritual support is so much more effective compared to just simply using medication.

What method of healing

I would not claim to be in the position to prescribe any specific form of healing that is best for you and your problems. But I do wish to share the understanding of the self - mind, body, emotion, spirit. And I would emphasize that when there is one aspect of you that you seem to have been struggling with for a long time, and not able to overcome, look at the other aspects of yourself. Perhaps the answer is there. You may have a problem with your body. But look at your relationships, your lifestyle. Or do you have faith? If your mental state is terrible, look at your posture, how are you using your body?

Be aware and find clues and answer in places you may not even have thought of. But don't dabble too much into the spirit. It's a whole other world. We are physical beings after all. Our spirit is perfect. It just seem like it is not because of the other 3 aspects of ourselves.

Health, wellness and happiness is holistic. One aspect cannot be well independent of another.

Until next time, I wish you well...

Muscle and Emotions

We probably all know a little about body language. Different postures express different emotions. We use body language to communicate different thoughts. It does so itself even when we are not realising or controlling what we do with out bodies.

Dancing is about using the body to communicate thoughts and emotions. The process of dance creation or improvisation uncovers the language that is already IN the body, without us thinking too much about it consciously.

Yes, the language is IN the body.

It means that our body stores emotions and memories inside of it, and express it in a certain way in our movements. Like, when a depressed person is hunched, a stressed person's body is tense, even when he's walking, talking, or drinking a cup of coffee.

Sometimes, it is not even about an emotion that is present. It could be from the past - a physical injury, a grievous loss or hurtful actions or words from another person.

All our experiences, as you know, is recorded by our subconscious, and our subconscious memories has physical locations within our body. (There was a book written on it that I just found out about.)

So working on our body, I find, is not as effective as working on my mind.

Yes, our body can learn new movement habits that when developed over the course of 30-60 days, will become automatic. It is important to start with practicing good movement habits through repetitive conditioning. However, there are times when the body seems very stubborn or is fighting against this conditioning. This is where some inner work needs to be done.

When there is a stubbornly bad posture, stubbornly tense muscle, or even dorman muscles, it is very likely that the body is holding in a memory or emotion that is getting in the way of release. Although habits can be trained, I believe that in these cases, overriding it with new habits simply hide its real issue, pushing it further back into the subconscious, where it will manifest itself in some other unhealthy ways.

To address these issues, the first think one can do is to identify the specific muscle group and emotion that is related to this movement habit.

Muscle/emotion/memory

Identifying either one will work as a starting point. The key is to be as specific as possible, and I feel it is best to be confrontational with yourself. To be honest about the real emotion or memory that is hiding inside.

Once you are able to identify either one of these 3 aspects, you can hold it in your mind, and then release it, and go back to replacing it with a new conditioning.

The challenge

The challenge is usually to find out the accurate source of the stuckness. With that, I use clues such as emotional keywords, organ that this certain body part is related to, meaning of chakra - all these are fairly related.

I will be exploring further in this topic in future articles, about identifying stuck muscle groups and releasing them.

Until then, regards...

We are not aware of how much damage we can do to others, until we realise how much damage others have done to us.

Similarly, there are people who can heal us so deeply, which shows how much we can help others heal too...

...Just the thought of the day.

About Me: The Long Story - My Love Affair With Movement

If you had read my about page, you would probably know a thing or 2 about me and my practice. But here, I will share the in-depth story of how I came to where I am at today.

I love movement

I have been studying movement all my life.

From dance, martial arts to sports, I have observed movement from a range of aspects and attempted to recreate them, to understand how movers move - how the best dancers dance, how actors act, how atheles jump, how action is created and how movement flow.

As I study these people more, I began to understand that there is a state of being in which these people had created, a stage persona in their performances. It is beyond what is taught in most lessons, what you see in the apparent.


In my career as a dance teacher, I had taught this method to my students in rehearsing for their dances. The difference is between a mediocre or technical performance, and an emotionally impactful performance.

What kind of dancer am I?

When most people ask me, "When did I first started dancing?" I didn't know how to answer them. Like most people, I started dancing when I was little, I mean baby. Unlike most people, I continued dancing and believing in dance, through adulthood.

I revel in art - I sing, play music, draw, paint, occasionally build or sculpt things, and I aspire to act.

I started off mostly as a self-taught dancer, emulating my idols from music videos and concert recordings, and just moving to the beat to music. I start off with dancing Canto-pop like idols Leslie Cheung, Aaron Kwok, Jimmy Lin and Dicky Chueng, during the late 1980's to the early 1990's, a time that could be described as the peak of the genre. It was a time of elaborate costumes, grand concert stadiums, world class  performances, and of course, superb dance performance and choreographies. The passion in the music and the moving beats sparked my interest in singing and dancing. Of course, the genre also occasionally offered its share of ballads and culturally influenced tunes, along with accompanying performances, sparking my interests in more traditional and lyrical dances.

In the late 1990's, I started paying more attention towards western pop culture. Dancing girl and boy bands - i.e. Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, N'Sync - became a scarce oasis of reference towards stylistic physical expression. And then Britney Spears, and there were no others like her.

At that time, we have no MTV and there was no Youtube. Even my VCR at home was spoilt and not replaced. What you see on TV is what you get. As much as I wanted to dance along, I couldn't reference well enough, so I had to pick up the dances as I go. Even if there were good references, they were not like today's K-pop where they have complete dance videos. I had make up my own steps in betweens.


But of course, I was too ashamed to let anyone know I love to dance. People make comments. You are a bad kid if you shake your body. You can't really dance if you don't go for classes, but there were no classes to go for. Children are expected to sit still.

So, I practiced in private, when my parents were not around, when no one was watching.

I wanted to do everything. I loved moving, I indulged in martial arts and gymnastics. And as you can imagine, I simply couldn't sit still.

Training hard

It started with a discovery of my enthusiasm towards chinese period dramas with kungfu/wire-fu. It served to tie me towards deeply exploring my cultural roots, which led to my interest in spirituality. The visuals that I see in these stories triggered a sense of stories untold so full in my heart, that I had to express it out in some form of mono-acting, and I started practicing martial arts for the parts I play. I was mesmerised by the visuals of female-wirefu, which resembles a dance more than fighting, hoping to someday float, glide and display such grace and power at the same time. This eventually covered more female heroine characters, that are technically tomboys of period dramas. I started dreaming of becoming an actress, and at that time, Michelle Yeoh emerged as an icon of my dreams.


Immediately, I wanted to sign up for wushu classes to get started on my basics. Unfortunately, things didn't quite happen for me. I ended up settling for taekwando classes which were offered in my school. I didn't like sparring, but instead I trained hard to make sure my kicks and my taegeuks look good and perfect, all the way up to my black belt in year 2000.

Later, when I entered university, I finally got the chance to approach wushu and taichi. It was a wonder that the techniques are so different, so much more complex even on the lower level, but it also means much more variety in movements. I get to practice movement patterns that I had always wanted to do, it was something that I wished I had started earlier on, for the basics in taekwando didn't prepare me for this. I managed to do a few performances with the team, one which included using sticks. Unfortunately, I did not stay long enough to learn weapons which I had wanted so much years ago. My body was getting tired of the brutal hardness of learning martial arts. It is not what I want to do. However, the years of training had further developed the tough body that already was.

Bending soft

During my early childhood, I was exposed to an international aerobics. I was mesmerised with the participant's flexibility and ability to perform acrobatics like cartwheels and walkovers.

Then during the 1992 Olympic games, I fell in love with rhythmic gymnastics. But it was not until the next Olympic in 1996 that I get to watch it again on TV. I loved the grace, flexibility and dexterity of gymnasts. I also learned to pick up on the flow of their movements, which sparked my interests in gentler forms of dance.

Unfortunately, there were no known gymnastic classes at that time, or would it have been a worthy investment as by then, it would've been too late for me to start (it is important to take advantage of early childhood to develop the extreme flexibility required). But I never gave up on the dream of performing, so I resorted to self-training at home.


I became obsessed with stretching. My amateurish attempts at self-training were somewhat successful - I managed to achieve over-splits, a good level of back bend, and walkovers - but it had also left me riddled with injuries. I developed a lower back pain, and hip joint pain. I also learned that lack of proper warm up could result in torn hamstrings.

The body in conflict

Other than the activities I mentioned above, I was also a competitor in the school's high jump events. I started in my upper primary school, but did not do it again until my upper secondary years. Again, I worked very hard to train myself to jump higher, but in spite of the lower-body strength I developed, my achievements were limited and inconsistent. I was frustrated and didn't know what to do. My knees were aching. I didn't know what I did wrong.


Over the years, I kept pushing through in spite of my injuries so that I can do the things I loved. I kept fighting with my body to make it do better splits, but it seemed to have come to a plateau, while my hip joint became riddled with pain. My body no longer wants to put out the brute strength I was forcing it to. I was abusing my body, pressing on my spine, trying to tear my joints apart, punishing it when it doesn't give me what I want. My performance dropped. My body felt so heavy. All these training must have failed, I thought. I must be getting old. I was 20.

By year 2003, more injuries, coupled by other lifestyle factors had left me with little motivation. I stopped practicing wushu.

Going easy

Aside from the occasional music video dancing, a stretch or two here and there, I was no longer doing any serious physical training in the years that ensues. I swim, go to the gym, played badminton and took up archery to keep myself happy in between struggling through university coursework. Any serious endeavour towards physical achievement seemed out of reach by now. I will settle with being a multimedia designer.

Starting Over

So when I began working for a few months, and life seemed miserable and meaningless.

I asked myself, what would I have to do, that if I don't, I would die? Dance.
If I don't start dancing, I would die.

So I started searching through the net for dance courses that rings a bell to me, and in a convenient location. I wasn't driving at the time, and relied heavily on the LRT system. I took some trial classes in a few separate location, and I still haven't found what I want, until I happened upon Rivergrass Dance Academy and attended classes by it's founder/director, Ms. Mew Chang Tsing.

A new philosophy

The first thing that is very different from anything I have learned before is the attitude towards the body and towards movement.

The first was, to love our body, to treat it with kindness and respect. To not force the body to do something when it is already hurting, because when guided, gently, it will still be able to do what we want it to, without the unnecessary pain.

Second, is to listen to the body. The body has intelligence and it has movement, movement that is different from what is in the mind. If we can let go of the controlling mind, to be quiet and observe, the body will speak its language and give us it's answer.

Learning these two principles are a continuous process, but by first understanding its concepts and applicability, it is the first steps in the right direction.

Creating dance

As the process of our learning is mostly improvisational, very soon, I am creating dance. Its was like a burst pipe, where all my desires and longings for dance expressions finally found an outlet. Very soon, I was performing on-stage with the group, with my favourite, Lady In Red - a piece which carries a passionate, tango-flamenco tone with the music Assasins Tango.

It then followed by more and more pieces, and greater involvement within the contemporary dance community as a whole, a course on dance composition which led to my first solo piece, The Tree of Life, and the rest was history.

Aside from the influences mentioned above, I also came from a national school system with a heavy Malay cultural influence. at a very young age, I was exposed to Malay classical and folk dances, but I was most taken by Gamelan, Ulek Mayang, Asyik and Inang, because of how ethereal the dancers look on stage, with elaborate costumes, and hypnotic music.

I didn't know how I pick up on the love of spanish-influences dance, but the passion and sensuality speaks to me.

Teaching dance


This burst pipe of creativity eventually flooded into my dance teaching in the international school, where I choreographed pieces for the school production which I directed, working with other dance and music teachers, and the high school students who were given the freedom to create their own - it basically unleashed my creative monster - a playground where pop, contemporary, and cultural performance items co-existed and weave itself into a story of growing up, learning and living in harmony.

The result was, the students get to learn something totally new, the school get to see something new, and expose itself to various forms of dance, and with my performing experience, I helped the students polish their performance quality to a whole new level.

Teaching dance became something that I had-to-do!

What was most satisfying, was not about the choreography process or the performances themselves. But the growth and connection that came during and as a result of the production was where it was most beautiful.

During classes and rehearsals, I have worked with students of various levels, most do not have dance training outside what the school was able to provide. They spent many years not having a teacher who was actually trained in dance, as had been creating dance for performances on their own. I worked to create dances that is suitable for different age groups, different talents and capabilities, and together, I brought them to a level of performance that is entertaining and emotionally satisfying for both participants and audience.

Beauty in a dance performance had to first come from performance quality and polish.
These had to be a result of meticulous training and even nit-picking. Movements were cleaned up.

Then, there is a very basic but impotant element of appearing larger on stage that performers need to be aware of. Movements have to be larger, more lengthened. Students need to expand themselves into a space slightly beyond themselves. This often challenge people in their comfort zones.

Also, there is the element of eye-contact. Eyes needs to be looking in the right places. It was very difficult for students to look up when dancing initially. Most adolescents and teenagers have self-esteem issues. Dancing on-stage and looking up at the audience was most terrifying and unthinkable of. Eyes wander as a result of a wandering mind too. So much training was centered on them being focused and present in the performance itself.

Last but not least, the importance of emotional interaction. Students need to know what their dance is saying, or what they actually wanted to say to the audience in their dance. They learned to accept it, to be honest about it, about themselves and what they wanted to express, or what I needed them to express in their dance.

I talked to these dozens and hundreds of performing students, some on a deeper level. I got to know them on a personal level to understand their unique challenges, and coached them to overcome their own obstacles, bodily, mentally and emotionally.

What's next?

I believed that the training had challenged them to a greater level, but I believed that more people, young and old can benefit from learning dance and training for performance, and overcoming personal obstacles, moving out of their comfort zones. It is my wish to reach out to more people on the same, deep, soulful level, without the constraints of academic curricula which I had to juggle with in school. I wish to create for, and to spread the knowledge of using the body, and healing its injuries.

The healing process

Over the years, I began studying more about the body as I continue studying alot of personal-developement materials. I wanted to heal, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

When I stumbled upon the works of Tony Robbins and understood how much body language affects a person. I saw a video and was very surprised he spoke to one of his workshop participants, and immediately see shifts in their body when their mindset changes. I began observing body language more deeply, and employed questioning techniques to heal my body and let my body work in a more harmonious way.
Many of these techniques were helpful when I was working with my students. I was very enthusiastic about the results that I got and I am determined to practice further and broaden my reach.

Who am I?

I see myself as a life-long learner and teacher. I love to coach people, to help bring out the best in them, in what they do, whatever it is they want to do, to connect with who they are, and find that creative side of them.

As a teacher, I believe that no one is too bad to learn, and no one is too good not to learn.

It is a matter of desire - do we wish to do it or not?

The jewel is inside everyone of us. You just have to draw it out of each person.

It gets personal


I employ techniques from life coaching and strategic intervention, understanding body language  from dance and improvisation, energy chakras and self-healing in my teaching. I do not believe in a sterile teaching environment. A teacher teaches best when she knows her students well, and directly meet her needs and deliver at her level.


For me, I keep learning from personal experiences, my meditations and my readings. I believe everyone should.


I hope to someday connect with you on our journey, where we can share and exchange in mind and creativity.

Love,

Are You Really Ready For Weight Loss?

"We do what we must." - Tony Robbins

We feel, and we become.

But if you are overweight, chances are, there is one part deep-deep inside of you, that wanted to be that way.

Body shock

Any drastic changes to our body can be a shock to our mind - whether it is sudden weight loss, loss of a limb, loss of hair - because our mind is conditioned to being in a certain way and the human mind doesn't generally respond well to changes. Whenever it senses change, it will try to revert back into its old pattern, patterns that feels more familiar and comforting.

Sudden changes to our bodies or environments can have drastic effects on our mental health, resulting in panic/anxiety. Extreme cases of body shock may lead to death - it is also the reason why liposuction has to be done in stages.

In response to more gradual changes, the mind will simply respond like a coiled spring and bounces itself back into its old habits - yo yo diets. 

So now do you understand why people so often eat themselves back into their old weights after a liposuction, and yo yo themselves even heavier than before their diets?


You are not ready to lose weight.

Your mind and body have been so used to the current weight, that the weight loss suddenly feels uncomfortable. The mind goes into a panic, and sets off the alarm button so that you start eating and eating again.

You are not supposed to be of less weight than you are now!

So what do you do?

Accepting the new body

So, before you embark on your next diet/weight loss program, consider preparing your mind into accepting its new body.

As Rhonda Byrne mention in The Power book, Imagine it, feel it, receive it...

It's all a feeling
So you have in mind the kind of body you want. But "seeing" it in imagination still keeps you at a distance.

Can you feel it in your body? Can you imagine how your body would feel when it is different? When it is more toned, slimmer, sexier?

How would you feel, having a body like that? Do you like it? Are you comfortable with it? Are you used to it?

Imagine, what would a person in that body do in a day? What would be his/her habits? How would you move, talk and walk? How would you eat? What would you be eating instead?

If by now, you feel comfortably fit in and totally awesome in your new imagined body, then great! You may be on your path to weight loss already.

Some people are successful in their weight loss programs because they had unknowingly conditioned their mind into accepting their new body before and during the course of their weight loss. As a result, their body does not bounce back into it's old form when they have achieved weight loss.

However, if you find that the slimmer, sexier body doesn't feel quite right, that lifestyle isn't so comfortable, then there is a part of you that is not ready to lose weight.

Why don't I want to be slim?

Maybe, it's that subconscious thing.

There has to be a reason why you ended up with this weight - an emotional reason, a payoff. You might scream, "Why in the world would anyone wants to be fat?" But these reasons go beyond the common, rational desire of wanting to look and feel good. It goes wayy deeper than that - believes and emotional attachments that make up your subconscious programming, which manifest itselves into the everyday habits that drives you.


It could be a limiting believe that you have held:

• I hate slim people, they must be sickly/anorexic.
• It must be difficult and painful to be slim.
• It is socially unacceptable/wasteful of my money to order smaller portions.
• I must eat at every meal time, 6 times a day, even if I am not hungry.
• Committing to an exercise regime is laughable/limiting to my social life.
• You were loved because you are round and chubby. You will not be loved anymore once you slim down.
• I don't have time to care about my weight/health.

Or, it could be an emotional attachment or pain they you trying to avoid:

• You want to avoid being too attractive, because you had received unwanted attention when you were once more attractive.
• You feel very vulnerable against the world and needed the emotional "cushion" the extra body weight provides.
• You like the feeling of fullness over-eating is able to provide you, either in the sense of relaxation from the deep breath or blood rush to your belly, or to prevent the sense of vulnerability from the "emptiness." (yes, because a "normal sized" person experiences periods of empty stomach, in between meals, and it is normal to feel a hungry a few times a day, before meals)

Whatever your reason, your subconscious programming may appear quite illogical. Afterall, it is your emotion that drives it, not your logic. How often do you find yourself knowing what you should do, and not doing it? How often do you find yourself reasoning yourself into doing something and ended up not doing it? Because we are driven by emotions. We are emotional creatures and logic often means nothing to us.

Trying to reason ourselves into losing weight is pointless. Using willpower to wrestle your way through your subconscious programming will prove futile.


Self-honesty, self-acceptance

You may or may not be consciously aware of these programming that drives your habits, and your awareness of them is dependent on the level of self-honesty you practice within yourself. 

You may learn to discover the reasons by first talking to yourself and asking yourself this question  "Why do I really want/need to be overweight?"

You may speak it out loud, but it is easier to write them down own paper. Scribble all the possible answers on a piece of paper/notebook. Keep going when you feel like you are running out of answers. Keep going until you feel that you have reached a point of total honesty with yourself - you may get emotional, you may cry, you may feel scared, you may revive a past hurt or anger.

Whatever it is, get honest. The more honest you are with yourself, the faster you will discover the true reasons for your undoing.

The key is to be entirely open, self-accepting, loving and forgiving. No matter what answer emerged onto your piece of paper, remember to not be judgemental of yourself, not to feel anger or hold grudge towards anyone or yourself. You are only human, and you deserve to be loved no matter what you do/say/think/feel.


Sometimes, the reasons that drives us or motivates us might be a selfish one, immoral, illogical, or downright ridiculous! We didn't know that we are still holding in something from so long ago. But the truth remains that, that is our true and honest self speaking. If we are honest with ourselves, we will always know the reason of why we do what we do. And when you do, release it!

The release

In EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), people tap meridian points and repeat statements to release limiting believes and emotions.

Events in our lives which triggered strong emotions locks in thoughts and decisions made in that instant, that continue to form parts of your subconscious programming. Your decisions may change over months, years or decades, but some of these emotional baggage is so heavy, they continue to linger on long after you had changed your mind on the subject matter.

E.g. - Let's say your boyfriend dumped your for a girl who is rounder than you. At that moment, you decided that "I am going to make myself fatter to look more like her, so that he would love me again."

That would have been an emotional point in your life. Soon, you might start gaining some weight. Maybe you got him back. Maybe you didn't. But you may have moved on. You forgot about the "decision". You are happy with your life now, and wanted to lose weight again and feel like before.

But you don't want to feel like you did before. It would bring you back to the time when you felt so bad about yourself! Why would you want to go back to that?

Accept, forgive, love

Remain calm, loving and accepting of yourself while you ask yourself these questions.

If you want to release your emotional bondage, you must accept that you felt that way, accept what happened to you as the past, that you have moved on. Forgive what happened. Forgive what had been done to you. Forgive the people who had wronged you. They were only human anyway. Forgive yourself for letting that happen to you.
Love. Practice universal love. Love all, love yourself, love people no matter what they do. Love them for who they are.

Accept, forgive and love, it is the most healing thing you can do for yourself and others.

If you are able to accept, forgive and love completely, you will be able to move on. And I urge you, if you are to partake in this process, to complete it up to total release, for otherwise, it would only serve to bring up past unhappiness that you are not able to move away from.

Do not stay in an unhappy place, it is not healthy for you and it will only disempower you.

If you are prepared to keep going and then move on, then good for you. Good luck in trying it. Release your past anger, silly mistakes and brash decisions.
Let go of past baggage and move on.

As you can imagine, this process is not just for weight loss. It applies to anything you want to change in your life.

If you have been working on changing something in your life for a long time and it is not working, you feel extremely stuck, you may try releasing with love.

A new conditioning

While accessing and accepting limiting thoughts and believes releases them from your conditioning, new habits will appear and replace the old ones. If we do not consciously replace habits and feelings we want into our everyday lives, things that we don't want will automatically appear.

As Tony Robbins said, if you don't want weeds in your garden, plant the things you want. Otherwise, you would be forever pulling out weeds.








Weeding is important, but what do you really want to plant?

Start to inculcate that positive image of yourself daily. Integrate positive habits into your life. Imagine, see, feel and live the life you truly want - one that keeps you happy, vital and fulfilled.  

See yourself living anew, starting your day fresh and alert. Partake in positive affirmations, visualisations and meditations. 21 days to perfect health
Feel yourself choosing healthy food choices. Go fresh, go vege, go organic, and taste the difference in the life and vibrance your food offers you!
Develop hobbies in physical activities that inspires you to move and get active. Exercise doesn't have to mean going to the gym! Whatever gets you moving, whatever makes you sweat. Play a game, walk the dog, hike up the nearby hill. Play! Enjoy your life, enjoy your body!
Connect with like-minded people, people who wants to live well, healthy, and positive.
Get your loved ones involved in your activities and goals.  
Lastly, get up your heavy butt, feel mobile, feel youthful, feel light, and move like you mean it! 



Important reminder: The information presented in this article or anywhere on this website are intended for educational use only and are not substitutes for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment of a medical or psychiatric illness. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, please consult with your health care provider. 

You Want Change

You certainly want change.

If you're not living a GREAT life, if you're not actively contributing to society, if you're not doing meaningful work, if you're not having an abundance of material wealth, if you're not experiencing spiritual peace and alignment, if you're not healthy and fit, if you don't feel loved and have so much love for what you do and the people around you, if your environment is not wholesomely beautiful, you will WANT change.

But not many people make it to change. Everyone knows what they want to do, should have done, should be doing, the right thing to do, but so few actually stepped it up and do it anyway - giving a multitude of excuses to yourself. You know what they are.

Lets get honest. You also know how to change it. You're just not willing to take the effort.

So few are willing to accept who their true self is. So few are willing to answer that call, to do what is right to do, that voice that keeps calling behind their ears, in their hearts, in our hearts.

We know what to do. Yet we don't do it. Excuses. Why?

Because it is easy to deny. Because change takes effort. Doing the right thing takes effort. It is too much trouble. It was well worth it, but we are too lazy anyway.

Let's face it, we are all guilty of it.

Try it: Let's just listen to it for once. Let's just get up and do the right thing for once. See what happens. And then another, and then another. It will certainly lead to a very different place.

I'm sure.

Finding Your True Self

What if I told you that I can help you find your true self? Would you believe it? Would you let me try?

The Edge of Competency

 Many times, I am given a task to do something, I hesitate. I hesitate to start and I hesitate to finish. Some people call it procrastination. Some people call it lazy. I call myself both. Add it bits of perfectionism, and it's very close friend - feeling not-good-enough.

A Chronic Case of Feeling Not-Good-Enough

Looking back, I find myself being very attached to this feeling not-good-enough. It is as though I'm really that bad at doing anything, that I didn't want to do it at all. Or if I started, I am too ashamed to submit it or post it up anywhere.

I tried a few methods to work myself out of it. This blog being one of it.

Finding reasons to be not good

So I had this habit of constantly finding people and things that are leagues above me, and comparing myself with them. I know that the feeling is partly rational. Looking around me, I certainly know who I am better compared with, but my mind and emotions are fairly focused on the people who are better than me.

I initially started off with people who are just a bit better than me, but I gradually worked up to those of world class standards.


While technically, it is good to aim high and to develop some constructive criticism of ourselves, you know what people say about aiming too high.

Not only that, I also find myself constantly searching for something new to do, some new skill set to develop, and something that I am not good at.

Not that it's bad to challenge yourself with learning a new skill or pushing your standards, but I came to find that it's really not helpful to do everything at the edge of my competency. In fact, this edge has become some sort of a comfort zone, which acts as an excuse for me to not do anything substantial, to push further up on expertise in one skill set, but rather meddle with many.

*Ironically, my writing of this former paragraph still lies within the same pattern of judging myself towards incompetency.

Focusing on strengths

Positive psychologists found that managers who focused on their employee's strengths are able to significantly increase employee productivity. People who have a good understanding of themselves and constantly work on developing their talents were able to achieve more success compared to those who are more focused on improving their weaknesses.

Not only is working on something that you are already talented at improves productivity, it also opens up the avenue for you to push it to a higher level of competency (metaphor: climbing the hill of competency), as opposed to staying mediocre, and needless to say, it is also much more helpful for your self-esteem, passion and desire to do more!

*Which leads me to some new questions:
- Which "hill of competency" should I climb?
- Should I be an expert "meddler"?

I am a hill

So, to ask  "Which hill of competency should I climb" already made an assumption that "I am incompetent."

A more positive approach would be:

     I am a hill, I become more of myself.

But to "become more of myself" implies that I am not "myself enough".

     I become myself

To have to "become" myself implies that I am not myself. 

    I am myself.
     I am who I am.
....It's who I really am...
 

The Mind and Body of Pain

Many people unknowingly live with joint pains in their lives. As they go about their day to day lives, as age increase, workload and responsibilities mounting, it is easy to ignore the body and the sensations that it is giving. It is not until a problem becomes too persistent and too painful to ignore that a problem in the body is addressed.

"No pain, no gain" is the mantra that has been taught to us, about the wisdom of working hard and persevering for long term benefits. However, in medical understanding, pain is attributed to a sickness or a problem. As a part of the human survival instinct, pain is designed to help humans or living things identify danger or harm. So how come we are contradicting ourselves?

According to The International Association for the Study of Pain, pain is defined as "an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage".

While there are many causes for joint pains, including bone or muscle injury, and various other diseases such as rheumatism and arthritis, (an exhaustive list here) and may need medical treatment, some of the more common pains are simply caused by muscle tension and repetitive strain injury - strain caused by activities that we perform on a day-to-day basis, which may not appear harmful or injurious, bu causes damage in the long term.

Some of us experience pain that have no apparent causes or notable injuries when we seek the doctor, and there is little that a doctor can do. Yet, this kind of pain can be very persistent in our everyday activities, especially if you are an active person or needs to perform physical tasks on a regular basis. This kind of pain can stem from muscle tension, joint misalignment or even mental-emotional - such as stress, grief or anxiety, the type which experts call psychogenic pain.

In such cases, the best relief is to be able to alleviate tension through the practice of relaxation of the mind and body.

Breaking The Pain Pattern
  
As we continue to accept that constant pain and tension is necessary part of our lives, we will continue to breed behaviours and habits that will continue to give us pain - like how you would keep pressing onto that sore knee every time you walk up the stairs.

Eventually, such a pain will become unbearable and you would start to avoid using it all together, and put weight on the other side of your body. This in turn causes pelvic and spinal imbalance, which will create new pains in your hip joints and lower back.

See how this can continue developing into a pain pattern?



The Recovery Loop

We may not realise it, but we may constantly be putting unnecessary strain into little joint muscles to bear the burden of our body weight, muscles which are designed for light movements, whereas large muscles meant to carry the body weight lie dormant. But because we have been so desensitised from responding to our bodily pains, we continue to repeat the habit until the tissues becomes inflamed and sore.

Such as in the situation mentioned above, the tiny muscles in front of the knee cap were forced to bear the burden of pulling the body weight up, when you should really be lifting yourself forward using all the big muscles in your core, buttocks and thighs.
 
However, by learning that the load of your body weight is not meant to be supported by any one small muscle, but distributed across your body, you understand that the pain is not necessary at all, or can be significantly minimised at the very least. In the process, your body feels lighter, your movements easier and swifter, and at the same time, you are also working those areas that have been gathering fat - your tummy and buttocks - all at the same time.

The truth is that, your body knows exactly how to work and heal itself, if we allow them to. If you can learn to listen to your body more often, to be mindful of how it should really work, and allow its natural processes to take over, you will begin the cycle of healing and increased wellness.

Long-Term Pain vs. Short-Term Pain

So can you avoid pain altogether?

If you have participate in any sports lesson, the first thing you notice after your first class is how sore your muscles are. But this does not mean that you should stop the activity altogether. In fact, when you grew your first teeth, and your wisdom teeth, the process was painful too, at varying degrees. And when you get that wound falling from a bicycle, there were some pain and discomfort underneath that scab that you so badly want to scratch and poke.

The point is, pain is not entirely avoidable. We are meant to deal with pain at one time or another. However, the difference lies in dealing with long-term pain or short-term pain.

Identifying Injuries

1. Lazy habits - Most injuries that develop over time were the result of bad habits which I would label as laziness - habits such as slouching is a posture from the unwillingness to hold up the body using the core muscles, but letting the body "rest" which in actual fact, puts strains on particular small muscles.

2. Wrong technique - Perhaps, you may find that certain exercises you do don't seem to give you better results even if you have repeated it for several weeks or months regularly. But instead, you experience pain in the course of the activity, and the pain may have even increased even though you did you increase the intensity of your exercise. In this case, you should know that you might be using the wrong muscles to perform this activity, as if you have done it correctly, you should see improvement over time, and pain from unfamiliar muscle activity would cease.

Another good indication of technique is the area of pain. Pain in the muscles from overworking is much less of a problem compared to pain in the joint. As muscles are made of elastic tissues and have ample blood supply, it can stretch, and recover itself easily when experiencing microscopic tears (which is common in weight training). However, the joints are made up of tendons and ligaments, both which are non-stretchable. But when stretched or strained, they are slow to heal and generally does not go back to its original form.

Sharp pain is another indicator for wrong technique. Tears in tendons, ligaments, muscles and fascia. Other possibilities include pressing on nerves, which may also bring about sensations of numbness, giddiness or nausea.

3. Holding in tension - Muscles operate in 2 ways - contraction and extension. The alternation of this contraction and extension of muscles create movement in our joints. And naturally, we would think that holding a position means keeping the muscle contracted, and the sensation of contracted muscle seem to communicate strength, control and work. However, the contracted muscle is stiff, and if we attempt to stretch it, we would be fighting with our own body, causing tear and harm. Muscles are mean to be mobile and dynamic, to assist us in movements. If holding muscle contractions is a constant habit, you may have many sores and injuries in your body.

Also, if we are in a state of emotional stress, it is a natural response for our body to contract its muscles, to keep us in a state of vigilance. This state is tiring and it will not take long before the body is exhausted. To maintain endurance, become more flexible and minimise injury, the muscles need to work in a relaxed, extended manner. This not only appears graceful movement, it also helps one feel calm and light!

Change That Attitude

Training, stretching and your favourite activities need not be painful or injurious, if done the right way. Physical activities should be enjoyable, help you stay healthy, fit and most of all, happy!

So if you find yourself in the habit of hurting yourself, ask yourself again:

- Is this the right way to do it?
- Should this be so painful after so many times? If not, then what is the right way to do it?
- How can I use my whole body so that the load of my body weight is distributed across the large muscle groups?
- How would my healthy body do it?


If you are certain that the issue is physical, you can always ask your teacher or trainer for advice, or if you don't have one, attend classes from a teacher who can help you with these issues. Some teachers may dismiss pain and injury as common or part of the process, but a good teacher would be able to point you in the right directions. Otherwise, you may hire a specialised practitioner, counsellor or a coach who can help you specifically with forming movement and emotional habits.

Feel free to comment on if this article have helped you, or if you practiced other techniques that were really effective in helping you deal with pain healthily.


To find out more about how you can improve your life through , email movenphil@gmail.com.