Fashion and Dance: Geometry in Motion

This is a piece created for a fashion launch of the collections of my talented designer friend, Pearly Wong. http://pearlywong.co/

Event page: http://minutspaceinit.blogspot.com/2013/03/minut-init-x-pearly-wong-info.html



Unfortunately, the final piece was not recorded, but here it is...

Dancing Now We Are Free a.k.a. Into The Wind

So, after much hiatus, I now present to you, my latest solo piece, Into The Wind.
Enjoy...

The Pressures We Put On Ourselves

About 2 years ago, I had a major breakthrough in my work with my body. I was finally able to understand how it feels to be truly aligned and released.

However, I was working in a static state, not dynamic - as in standing still vs. movements. The wonderful alignment cannot be sustained as I have yet to develop the necessary muscles to uphold that posture. To do so would take constant work of daily alignment and exercise. In addition to that, I have discovered some dormant muscle injury that was the result of an electro-acupuncture session gone wrong. It was an extremely challenging phase, not only physically, but also emotionally. Soon I slowly let it go, the old habits took over again and I lost that wonderful feeling.

2 years on, I find myself stuck at my performance level, and that there is no way to move forward other than to deal with my alignment again. This time, with a more prepared and positive mind set, and I opt to work more dynamically.

You see, the benefits of working dynamically (with movement) is that you are constantly building muscle and conditioning your movement habits as you work - rather than just "stacking" your joints and expect them to stay there.

So last week, during my dance sessions, as I was working on my body, I discovered 2 habits that was holding me back.

1. There is a sensation of pulling back/clawing down along my middle-lower back muscles.
My teacher commented about my habit of contracting that part of my back to develop an arch and to extend my legs backwards. Now I suddenly realised how dominant that sensation was in my overall body posture.

2. As I work to release that sensation, I found another, even more influential force that is holding me down - there is a pressure over the top of my head that is pressing me down.

Well, technically, it was me, putting that pressure on myself. But it did felt like an invisible hand pushing down on me. It's still me.

So what I did was, I mentally "opened up" this pressure over the top of my head, like opening a box and letting the sensation out.
The mantra I gave to myself was to "believe in the higher power," that is to trust the natural forces to hold up my body, instead of me trying do push myself up.

The counter force to that is also the ground. Dynamically speaking, the more force going downwards, the more counter force there is going upwards, which is how an extended, lengthened body comes about.

So the second mantra was to "believe in the ground I am stepping on." It is the sensation of developing trust, that all is fine.

This sensation extends the highly contracted muscles in my legs, especially my quadriceps and calves.

It is a wonderful load of pressure released from my body from these 2 exercises.

I hope that my sharing of my experiences can benefit your practices as well.

Until next time, warm regards...

"(Dancing is) constantly doing a lot of active stretches."
- Mew Chang Tsing

Sound and Movements

There are many ways of creating dance - or rather "there are many sources of inspiration" for creating dance. Some create based on a storyline, a character, an image, an emotion, a life event, a music, etc..

I personally love creating dance based on music. Music moves me, like perhaps you have seen how  Gangnam Style move this baby.

I am one of those very kineasthetically responsive individuals, and was particularly reactive to pulsating pop beats when I was in my childhood all the way through my teens and early 20's, with pop being a huge influence in my interest in dance as mentioned here. Of course I'm not about to burst into a Gangnam "horse ride" the moment I hear the song now, but you get the idea.

Then as I mature, I find myself responding more towards subtle, meditative tones of Asian classical music, or strong orchestral harmonies, including western classical, new age and contemporary genres - such as the soundtracks of Hans Zimmer.

Music gives me vision. I see movement, feel movement, and I am driven to move. Music sometimes drowns me. I can become drunk in music, even when I'm not drinking. Itut is where my most passionate pieces come from.

However, there are school of thoughts who decides that dance should be independent of music. On a moderate scale, it should be telling a story beyond what the music is telling - which has a good point. But on an extreme level, choreographers are purposefully using music or sound just as a backdrop or "noise," and having the dancers dance in a way that completely ignores the rhythms and flow of the music.

Some dances are performed in silence.

I haven't done the extremes yet. For now, I am still very much attached to my music... like a lover...

Moving to sound

In my practice of dance and improvisation, I have found spaces where certain movements and exact matches for certain sounds and certain notes, where our body acts like an instrument, like a recorder with its holes along our torso, or a drum set, with sounds at different spaces.

It may take a more auditory person to be able to "hear" sounds in their body, just as it may take a more visual person to "see" movements in space.

"Seeing" movement

In most of my dance teaching, it is very common for me to give instructions to my students, such as in children's creative dance and improvisation classes to "paint in the sky." This is where you imagine that your hands become paint brushes, and that your sweeping movements create colours where the air is your canvas. You can really have lots of fun, "painting" the world around you with the sweep or your hands, your feet, and other body parts. It is usually important to "see" where your movement is coming from and where its going, partly also to be able to decide on the aesthetic result you are trying to achieve and to fill in the space with the presence of your movements.

The non-visual dancer

However, during my course of teaching, I had encountered one student who was particularly gifted in his hearing. He is a natural musician and composer. He can play any instrument he tries, and any tune he hears in his head - or at least that is what I have observed. However, he was struggling in my class, which was unfortuantely compulsary for him to complete as a part of his IB MYP program.

After struggling for some time, I finally had a chance to work with him personally.

I figured that since he can't "see" movements, perhaps he can "hear" them.

I began working by opening up his body through the sound of my voice, moving through different notes to stimulate different joints in his body.

It immediately worked! His hardened, skinny body suddenly is able to start moving fluidly, and he suddenly understood improvisation in a way he never had before!

Finally, he was able to create a solo piece to submit as a final work to complete his program. It was not perfect, but it was good progress.

And I finally understood now, that some people cannot "see" movements, but perhaps, they can "hear" movement.

If you are a teacher, what difficulty have you encountered with students learning dance?
How do you overcome them?

Until next time,

Take care.

Dances of Nature: Let Me Help You Realise Your Dream

Now, I'm not much of a producer. At most, I can plan, choreograph, direct, teach, polish, basically putting up everything from scratch - student up.

My job, as a teacher, is to take a newbie, who is passionate and has some talent, and bring him/her up to a performance level within my choreography, or beyond.

Constraints are actually fun to work with - What I am asked to do, what limitations we have, what requirements to meet - with that, I work out something that is good for all, and makes everyone happy. Like give me a theme, give me a number of people to work with, give me the things you would like to have in, even throw in a few music you would like to see danced to (no, don't do that, let me sleep over that one)  - and I'll whip something out for you.

I've been brewing this idea in my mind for a long time, to choreograph a collection of dances that revolves around natural elements, or better still, a full length storyline. After all, it has been my inspiration, and a running theme in may of my works thus far.

So yea, my heart is eager to create something beautiful, something that reminds people of the wonders and serenity of nature, to continue to cherish it, because there is so much magic around us.

So, tell me. I want to work with you. I want to work with your students. I want to fit your requirements. Just throw them to me. I want to see what I can do. Ok?

Contact: movenphil@gmail.com

Alright, take care, bye!

New Works To Come, And Future Plans

Am currently working on 2 new solos:

1. With the Wind

Inspired by my trip to Greece, with the wonderful winds of Meltemi in the summer, I hear the voices of a beautiful song in my head, and with that, I was inspired to just fly, with the winds, in my very special piece. Coming out in May.

2. This would be a specially commisioned piece for my dear friend Pearly, an avant-garde a fashion designer, showing off her piece at her exhibition event at Minut Init.

Apart from that, I am also planning on a production, with nature themed choreography, possibly reworking some old works as well as adding in new ones. It would be made up of contemporary dance and improvisational pieces.

I love, love love, to choreograph for people, and I wish for it to be something that can help me nurture and inspire dancers in the process, for it to open up opportunities to all sorts of dancers, including amateurs, late beginners/intermediate dancers to perform. If things work out smoothly, it will happen at the end of the year.


I will start conducting auditions once more things are confirmed. Until then, if you are highly enthusiastic to participate, stay tuned by emailing movenphil@gmail.com or like my facebook page.

Until next time, love.

Why I Hated School and My Search for Happiness

This is to all my dear students who are still struggling through school, through teenagehood and those who are still struggling to find themselves. 

I've always remembered that as a child, I wasn't one who is very much a fun one to be with, nor have I found much capacity to have fun with other little kids.

Growing up into adolescence, I became one of those strange kids that people never liked. I talked about things that they don't care about, I behave in ways that they disapprove of, I was hyperactive, hyper emotional, super dreamy, and always in love with somebody I shouldn't.

There were years when I was socially ostracised, became the joke of the class or just simply became invisible. I was the ugly girl who was a little overweight, having too dark a skin, and not cute enough to deserve to be in the spotlight.

I didn't dare to be myself, and when I wanted to, I hardly got the opportunity. At first, I didn't dare to be too good academically as a few jealous kids will say mean things about it, think that I would be too proud, too full of myself. I had subconsciously lowered my scores eventually, just to fit in. Making a few mistakes in exam was more normal. Being too perfect was not.

Singing, dancing and acting was something I really liked, but never made it to the school choir, dance team or have more than a few lines to say in the class drama.I loved drawing and painting all my life, but somehow most of my art teachers in school never quite approved of my artistic tastes - except for one Puan Asnah.


I struggled to find physical and artistic expression - inside me was a monkey who wanted to burst out and jump across the streets, over the rooftops, summersault down the hallway, slide down the stair handles and take over the stage and be the perfect superstar!
But years of training have had it perfectly restrained.

I managed to find some relief in doing some high-jumping (which I wish I proper coaching for), taekwando (as a substitute for my kung-fu movie star/Michelle Yeoh dream) and very lousy basketball playing.

In the mean time, I also streched at home, danced to music videos, watched rhythmic gymnastics and trained myself in such, effectively turning my bed into a crashmat, with bad technique causing an injury or two. When all else fails, I punch pillows and walls and scream like a mad monster.

I was a super sensitive, super emo and constantly in need of love and craving for some warm displays of affection. but coming from a traditional Chinese family, affection is something that was not within the vocabulary. Spanking is what you get.

As it turns out, banging doors, crying, screaming out and withdrawal wouldn't get you the love you want. Comfort and affection might just very well be something you learn through your good friend.

I wanted to find peace. I tried meditation, but it took me to wierd places - at one time, I find myself stopped breathing, so I stopped. I loved nature, and had the chance to follow only 2 school expeditions to the wilderness over the years. I wished I could hide and stay there forever.

Life was super hard, I didn't see much meaning in life. I didn't know how to be happy. It was all dark and gloomy. I seek comfort in bonding with the school counsellor, Puan Siti Halimah. It was unfair because surely, she had many more students she would need to support, but I I studied religion - mostly Buddhism. I was always on the lookout for the love of my life, hoping that he would magically change my life and give me happiness, but its all just fantasy. I was completely incompatible with the school system and with my family culture.

The counsellor believed that I was having depression, but I didn't know what it was. A visit to  clinical psychologist was recommended, but back then, the stigma was still too strongly attached to psychologists, so I didn't.

My last 2 years in school slowed down as subjects became tougher, I became more lost, more drowned in the sea of syllabus. I didn't know what I was doing, I became even more of a zombie, but feigned humour and laughter to pass off as being sociable, if not to cheer myself up. I was secretly in love with a young taekwando instructor (my age) for years, until I was eventually exposed and coldly rejected. I procrastinated in all my homeworks and studying, except when I occasionally the strong motivation, flow or a sudden deep interest in certain topics. Some natural talent helps too. With factual topics like history, I was able to absorb I was hoping that college life would be outlet, but until then, I'll just have to pull through.

And pull through I did, as if with a noose around my neck, just slipping through the gates as it closes in.

Glad I am to be out of it. I hated school with a vengeance.

Life after school

Life after school has its ups and downs too, although I must say that it is a fairly pleasant one, or even way better compared to those school days.

During my university years, I get to move out of the house to live first in the campus hostel, then nearby the campus. My day to day living became independent of my family culture, and in fact, the family dynamics had positively changed, due to my absence. I felt missed and move loved because I am no longer always there, though I do go back on most weekends. I get to study in a course I had chosen for myself, which is creative multimedia and only need to bother about subjects that are relevant. As a design course, I bother mostly with practical design works which are much more interesting and easy for me to perform than reading endless loads of arbitrary information. Most textbooks or notes that we have to study can be directly applicable in practical work, or is somewhat relevant to my field of interest. Life, needless to say, became much more pleasant.

Socially, I also get to start over with groups of new people, who are more similar than me, rather than different. Some more "extremely strange" that I thought I was, but there is a positive sense of appreciation in these eccentric self-expressions. I also managed to get into a relationship which lasted throughout my university years, and beyond.

Of course, not all are a bed of roses. As the course got tougher in the second year, bad habits, unproductive behaviour and dysfunctional personality traits starts to surface.

For the first time, we were presented with unlimited broadband internet, now wired 24/7 - with a myraid of video files shared, games, internet mini games, MMORPG, endless instant messaging, Friendster, Google, Wikipedia. Too many distractions that proved to be more fun and exciting that coursework, unfortunately - and I'm only human. Staying up till dawn and chit-chatting with roommates are some of the most enjoyable things to do during those times.

As expected, I started to not perform as well as I could have. As I struggle to pick myself up again, fighting the distractions, procrastinations, I started to turn my work in late. I didn't feel good about it at all. I had my depressive mood swings again, anxiety attacks and inferiority complex. I struggled with myself, I badly wanted to learn how to deal with myself, because I knew I could do better than this, but I didn't know how to. I was falling behind, further and further. I wasn't happy in my relationship, yet I don't know what to do, or... I just simply didn't have the balls to do what I should do.

In search of happiness

In spite of the lack of external stressor such as family and undesirable study subjects, I still wasn't a very happy person. There was always something wrong somewhere. I always didn't want to do my coursework, even when the rush and excitement of internet and video games reduced. And all these addictive activities didn't exactly make me very happy either. They were just addictive and somewhat pleasant.

I kept myself productive with abit of choir, wushu (continuing my dream of succeeding Michelle Yeoh) and taichi (I wanted to be a kungfu master for real), some organising and comittee work, and a little dancing here and there.

I was constantly stressed and somewhat not quite happy, sometimes without good reason. I wasn't happy in my relationship, but I couldn't understand why. I wanted to understand more about my self, and how to make the best of it. I wanted to be productive, but most of all, I wanted to be happy.

It was then that I began my long search for happiness.

In search of the meaning of life

One issue that had plagued me for a very long time was finding the meaning of life. I wanted to find a reason to live. But most of all, I wanted to know how people live happily, because I felt that if I wasn't happy, then life is not worth living. And I was unhappy so much of the time, I wanted to change that.

I have learned about Buddha's search for happiness when I was in school, and I researched more during these times. I had a picture of the concept, and had contemplated the monastic path, but I didn't think it was applicable at this point. I kept looking.

I search internet for psychology and self-help articles. They helped me understand depression and some other such conditions. I find it comforting to know that there is an explanation for how I feel.


I began consulting the University counsellor too, who encouraged me to push on.

My then boyfriend also borrowed me books on self help.
Life Strategies for Teens was a good workbook style book which introduced to me the concept of "pay-off", understanding that there is a reason why we do what we do, even if we know it was a negative behaviour. It is one that I would recommend to young people who are struggling to understand their own negative behaviour.

The 7 Habits on the other hand, is a timeless guidebook on personal development, on the self, and our role within our surroundings. It was a book that I knew I had to buy and keep my own copy and reread it after I finished reading the borrowed one.
Years after reading it, I somehow would still mentally refer to some of it's concepts when encountering challenging life-situations. True principles never fail the tests of time. In fact, time strengthens principles, and this book is all about it.

I came into the concept of happiness coming from pleasure, engagement and meaning, in which true happiness has to come from engagement and meaning.

Then, I came acorss Viktor Frankl and his search for meaning. He came to the conclusion that the lack of meaning is the cause of unhappiness and inner conflict in people, that people need to find meaning in their lives, no matter what their circumstances.

I hadn't had a very clear sense of meaning yet by then, but I suppose that one pain suffered is a lessons for another.

Finding the flow

I initially enrolled myself in a majoring subject which I knew would be difficult for me, Flash scripting and all. I thought that it has more job options for me in the future and that the (in)famously strict lecturer would motivate me to do well. Unfortunately, it ended up back-firing. I was already dropping out, half-way through. The kind of work also proved to be not my cup of tea.

I lost confidence in myself, took a break from studies and worked part time before I can start a new academic year in a new majoring course. This helped reset things for me again.

I finally decided to take up virtual reality when I returned. 3d seems fun, the interaction didn't seem as complicated as the Flash stuff, my confidence was low, so I thought I'll just take it slow, in a new environment, new coursemates. New beginnings are always good, always hopeful, always fresh. I tried harder this time, did better, and started to find a little flow in my work.

During our final year, we were set to go for our intership training, before we return to complete our final year projects. During the internship training, my boss at the architecture firm, Mr. Ahmad where I was learning to do architecture visualisations guided me through patiently. He supported me and guided patiently in the process, that I begin go have confidence in my ability to work and produce efficiently again in my final year and in my future workplace. This gave me momentum to do well in my final projects for my university degree. I pushed harder, learned from my course mates, I was enjoying the flow of seeing my work improve, I liked the idea of my project, and I liked the process of creating it. It was fun, it was engaging, and I was close to success.

I was very focused on it, and by then, was not participating in any more co-curricular activities other than the one last thing I wanted to do before I graduate - archery.

But it wasn't easy. Just like in archery, my aiming skills are pretty rubbish. My perfectionism proves to be a dangerous ally and enemy. It was with alot of help, alot of push and encouragement from people around me that I had finally made it through my degree. It wasn't bad though, my portfolio earned me an employment in a multinational game company. I expected the employment to be a start of an exciting journey.

What is life about?

But after a few months, something in me started dying inside.

I started to question myself, what is it? What would I need to do, to not die?

Dance. It says.

Yes, I had not been dancing for quite a while. In fact, I was hardly moving ever since I started working here.

I started searching for a place to learn dance for real, and I found my teacher, Mew Chang Tsing. 

I didn't really know much about her back then, or what to expect in her class. I just went to her website, I liked the pictures I see there, I felt good about doing contemporary dance, I called up to ask about the nearest upcoming class, attended it as a trial class, and jumped straight in. I knew it was exactly what I need, what my soul needed. No questions about that.


So, I was enjoying what I do. I had a job that I sort of enjoy doing, and I have a hobby which I really love, but somehow, something still doesn't feel quite right. Weekends, week night, I still don't feel quite happy about where I am at. I didn't like my environment, although I work around the very nicely built KL Sentral area. It was too polluted, too much concrete.

I went for a trip to the Taman Negara, fell in love with the jungles all over again, and had bouts of depression by the time I return.

My company produced nice racing games, won an award or two, but unfortunately, I wasn't as enthused or excited or happy as I was supposed to be. It didn't matter to me. It was meaningless to me. I think of the time when I was addicted to video games, and I felt guilty for making one.

Man's search for meaning

It was then that I reminded myself that I could be doing much more than what I am doing - something closer to what I would wish for the world to be - a utopia of nature preserved and of caring people.

By then, I was working with a coach to help me find an outlet to this dilemma. As fun as 3D was, it didn't quite provide that meaning necessary in finding lasting happiness.

I wanted to change the world. I wanted to change its people. And the way for me to do?

I wanted to work in an NGO, but I was too emotionally vulnerable at that time. You got to be strong if you are doing advocacy.

I wanted to be a forest ranger, but then, I would still miss some of the luxuries of city life - nice dresses to wear, looking pretty and all.

Well, maybe I can be a teacher!


The love of teaching


The people who knew me and the people who had taught before would know how difficult yet fulfilling the profession is. It was challenging to the core, and somehow, I get to be a dance teacher, which also provided me with some of my most engaging experiences.

Seeing people grow and improve before your eyes, under your coaching was one of the most beautiful things one can do. It was a time when I got to expand my creative flair and had greatly strengthened my core values - self-honesty and capacity for love.

And sometimes, it was the most difficult students who touches your heart most deeply.

And then, I get to tell young people stories about life, about the "real world" outside, about saving the world, about finding themselves, loving themselves. Work was wonderful.

Love and truth

Most of all, I learnt about love. To love all, to love people as people, to connect with people, soul to soul, to tell people the truth, to be honest with ourselves and with the people we talk to. I found that it is only at this level of honesty that the heart can be touched, that lives can be changed. There is no other way.

Eventually, this path of love and truth has brought me to the next step. As much as the work was fulfilling, the school environment was still very limiting towards love and truth. I believed that I can do better beyond the boundaries of the school gates. I believe that there is more to dance, than just learning to dance.

Happiness is being able to express one's self to the fullest

My search for meaning began with the search for happiness. And my search for happiness became synonymous with the search for meaning.

In life, we are not here just to make ourselves happy, or please ourselves. By just pleasing ourselves, indulging in superficial activities of fun and enjoyment, we can be happy in the moment, but feel bored and empty soon after.

True fulfillment comes with overcoming challenges. True fulfillment requires passion - doing what we truly love. Doing the things we truly love may be a challenging task, whether it is to hike up a mountain, learn to dance, teaching children, create something new, writing a song, or anything. But there are things in this world that are worth doing, even if it is difficult and challenging, because it gives meaning to us.

Some people said, we are here to serve others. But what I found to be most true is that we are here to express our fullest self, and when we do so, we touch others as well, for within us, is an unlimited potential, which wants to be expressed, just like a seed holds the potential to become a full grown tree.

One does not feel fulfilled unless he/she is able to do to things he/she wants, and express love to loved ones the way he/she wants.

As my journey continues on, I seek to continually express my truest self, to share my soul with others, and to engage the souls of others. We are not perfect, we are growing together, each at our very own pace. If we stop growing, we are dying.



I believe that I can reach out through my dance and my teaching, and I am always grateful for those whose souls I have engaged in the past. I know that this is what I must do, because I love you. Because I love myself, because I want to make myself happy, I love you.


Do you know who you are?

Do you know who you are?
Do you love yourself inside?
Would you give love to the one inside?
You should, because you deserve to. When was the last time you gave yourself love?
You, my dear, could do nothing wrong, for you are only love. To deny love, is to deny you.
Love you, be you, and peace be you. You deserve to be you and nothing else, like no one else, so stop trying, and just start being.

Express yourself the way you need to express you.
Pick up the right skill if it helps you.
Speak your mind, make your statement if you have to.
Never stop believe in the voice inside you.

Dig deeper and you will find your core, of who is truly you. Love, accept, be.

Love,

You Want Change

You certainly want change.

If you're not living a GREAT life, if you're not actively contributing to society, if you're not doing meaningful work, if you're not having an abundance of material wealth, if you're not experiencing spiritual peace and alignment, if you're not healthy and fit, if you don't feel loved and have so much love for what you do and the people around you, if your environment is not wholesomely beautiful, you will WANT change.

But not many people make it to change. Everyone knows what they want to do, should have done, should be doing, the right thing to do, but so few actually stepped it up and do it anyway - giving a multitude of excuses to yourself. You know what they are.

Lets get honest. You also know how to change it. You're just not willing to take the effort.

So few are willing to accept who their true self is. So few are willing to answer that call, to do what is right to do, that voice that keeps calling behind their ears, in their hearts, in our hearts.

We know what to do. Yet we don't do it. Excuses. Why?

Because it is easy to deny. Because change takes effort. Doing the right thing takes effort. It is too much trouble. It was well worth it, but we are too lazy anyway.

Let's face it, we are all guilty of it.

Try it: Let's just listen to it for once. Let's just get up and do the right thing for once. See what happens. And then another, and then another. It will certainly lead to a very different place.

I'm sure.

Why you can dance, and why you cannot dance

Sometimes you see people dance effortlessly, carelessly

Children, drunk people and old people can dance. Sometimes, in-love people. And people who think (know) they are good.

Why? Because they don't care what people think about them, what people say about them, who will laugh at them. They just do it, for the sake of doing it. They feel it in their body, and they answer that call to move! It's very simple.

How do you dance? You just move! Listen to the music, feel it in your body, follow the beat/flow.

All babies and little children can dance. Most just lost that ability as they grow older.

Same applies to drawing/painting, making music and other artsy stuff.

Why you cannot dance?  

Because at some point in your life, someone tells you that you can't, or make you think that way, or you grew up got too self conscious about your self and your body to just let it move, and when you needed to be cool, and letting your body to just move wasn't cool.

Because at some point, people start to make you think that dancing has to be in a certain way, a certain steps, a certain style, attend a certain class, follow a certain teacher, be in a certain group, using a certain kind of music, confining you to these so-called standards, instead of allowing your personal style to be expressed.

Because, you haven't moved listening to a music since you were 3 years old, because people ask you to sit down and be quiet, or just follow what they do. Any skill unpolished is not surprisingly rusty. If the last time you actually tried to dance was during your kindergarten concert, don't be surprised if you still dance like a 5 year old. You're not untalented. You just didn't.

Life Lessons from Dance Improvisation

Stop thinking and let your body do the dancing

Authentic improvisation comes from the body, not the mind. You do not think about what move you are gonna do. You just get your mind out of the way and let your body move. Set steps, techniques and movement sequences are not necessarily you. They may not be true to the moment, or your mood, or the music you are dancing to. They may not even be true to how your body should move! To find true movement, sometimes you may have to unlearn what you practiced, and let the movement from your body flow through...

You may have been taught about what you should do or how you should be, but that may not be necessarily true to you. Sometimes, you may have to let go of conscious thought and let your heart go. Then can you live true to yourself.

Be conscious of the body and space in the current moment  

One movement may lead to a shape. From the shape, a new movement awaits.
If you find yourself following up with the same kind of movement every time, perhaps you have "automated" your dancing. You are dancing by memory, you are not really improvising at the moment. Choose to be conscious about your body, and discover other potentials of movements following the previous movement, and you may discover something totally new!
The process is a partnership of the body and mind - body exploration, mental consciousness. A good balance produce wonderful results.

Just as many processes and risk-taking require both instinct, strategy and self-awareness. A combination of both gives the best results.

Go the distance

Being conscious of the moment also mean going the distance with each move, maximizing the extends of each shape or movement, be it an extension, a contraction, a release, or a fall. Then only can you truly enjoying the dancing, in addition to appearing more dynamic and interesting.

If you haven't gone the distance in the endeavours you undertake, you probably haven't truly discovered your true potential in it, and learn to truly enjoy it. People say, do it well before you give it up.

Don't take yourself so seriously

Let go and have fun! Jump like a kid in a puddle. Skip around, sway, fall, act and be playful! There are no rules when it comes to improvisation. You can do just about anything. Only thing is, you need to take risks and let yourself go. Try movements you've never done before. Do things you would never think of as a dance. No one can tell you what you can't do. Most importantly, people will notice it if you're enjoying yourself, and they would have so much fun watching you too!


People love to see people who make them happy. Afterall, who can tell you how to live your life?


I would love to hear about the principles from other disciplines as well. Do you have any?

Why Dance Education?

During my time as a full time teacher, I was asked many times, "Why do we have to learn dance?" by my students. Some parents ask the same, even many teachers do. My subject was considered unimportant in school, especially when other than the International Baccalaureate students, they are not taking any formal examinations for it.

So why am I teaching it? Why is the school offering it? Why does all the students up to year 9 have to do it?

Well, at first, I even questioned myself. I did not grow up in a different environment from them. I went to government school, where language, math and science were given top priority. Subject like art (specifically visual arts), were looked down upon as unnecessary, an extra A for the gifted and that's about it. It was simply my love for the art form that caused me to take it seriously. But yet, it still appear very co-curricular and seemingly exists in the realm of leisure and entertainment.

Why? "I don't know."

"Because you are in this school and the school wants you to."

"Because you need to move and get some exercise."

"So that you can relax and take your mind off the books for awhile."



"Because you have a body..."

But really. "We all have a body, don't we?" as Sir Ken Robinson mentions in his speech in TED, which beautifully and humourously illustrates the importance of dance as an arts education.

So well, as long as we have a body, and we live in/with it until the day we die, shouldn't we learn more about it? Learn how to use it, take care of it, get creative and have fun with it? (in many more ways...)

And learning dance is more than just learning to use it athletically like in PE, but the benefits of learning dance includes those of learning music and visual arts.


From simple dance exercises, students learn to listen, pay attention to and respond to music, its beats and nuances.

In a creative dance or improvisation class, students learn to create and express their emotions through a healthy physical channel, and learn to develop a aesthetic considerations in the process. This kind of class is also very therapeutic.

And not to forget, it is also a fun way of getting to know your friends and yourself!

But one of my biggest reasons for loving and teaching dance was simply about connecting with the body, the anatomy, the movements, the sensations, and wonder.


So, as I often say, learning dance is not just about another subject in your time table. Learning dance is learning about yourself, your body, your emotions. It's your life...


So? Do you have other great answers to this?

Mind or Body?

Like most people, I used to think that choreograping a dance is about converting the image in my mind to the physical world. When I was teaching myself dance as a kid, I would see movements in my head, probably something similar to what I've seen on TV and will try to perform it by myself. For the most part, it works ok. It's how most people do it anyway, when they want to create/imitate/learn a dance.

However, things changed when I first started class with my teacher, Ms. Mew. She taught me that dance doesn't come from the mind, it comes from the body. And you just have to let your body do it, and you would know how to dance.

In our classes, we worked mostly on improvisation, where each of us get to interpret the music given according to our style, with her guidance. Of course, as most people would, I just danced in the ways that I think dance should be. When I listen to music, I often had images in my head, and I will just try my best to imitate it, and hopefully learn how to execute more complex moves in the future, those jumps and spins and tumbles that I wouldn't dare to try now.


Letting the body do the dance

Many years passed since then. Now I've learned that the body really does very different, sophisticated things when you let it, that the key is to let go of control. Sometimes, we are so stubborn and egoistic of what we want, we just failed to listen - and in this case, listen to our body.

Personally, not only I've discovered that it dances very differently and develops completely unexpected movements, in flow with one another, I've also discovered that it gives you flexibility, alignment and healing, just as you let it. There is also a lesser tendency to feel incapable of performing what I think I "want" to do, than what I am really doing.


Being a choreographer

However, being a choreographer brings out a different set of circimstances. Very often, the choreography for a group of more than 2 dancers will involve some measure of mental visualisation.
 
In an improvised dance piece, I am able to choreograph using my dancers' bodies, directing them for the artistic outcome I would like to achieve.

However, choreographing for more structured dance steps require a closer blend of my own body movements and my imagination. But it is still much more helpful to be able to play with spacing and arrangements when there is an opportunity to work with the dancers present.


Dancing with mind or body?

So, do dance with your mind or your body?
Have you talked to your body and connect closely with your body?
Anything new you discovered about it lately?

A Good Philosophy

A good philosophy or principle, should be one which serves you well, and one which you can apply to multiple areas - be it a philosophy in dance, movements or in life.

I find that once I build a philosophy, situations in life will challenge it. The challenges mostly serve to strengthen or debunk my believes. In other areas, they caused me to question if I should continue pursuing an activity which appears not to be in-line with my principle or philosophy.

Why develop philosophies?

Because it is easier to navigate the complexities of life once you have a central belief system to be your guide, your core value, your compass. A strong belief system can guide you anywhere in life.

Just like how you can perform any dance well, with a well developed core.

And like in life, once you understand how movement aesthetics can be achieved, it is easy to learn and perform all kinds of dance gracefully - because all well-developed artforms would have eventually arrived at the same conclusion about its aesthetic philosophies,

A good teacher

A good teacher should be able to teach movement based on priciples; the origins of movement, how to use your core for support, how to genuiely look relaxed yet large on stage - and will not make you do multiple mis-aligned movements at a time.

A good dance technique should be sustainable; can be practiced for long periods and mutliple times without causing injuries (as long as your mind remains focused), keeping both performance aesthetics and your well-being in mind.

The catch

If you are a ballet dancer dancing on point, you may find that no amount of technique mastery can alleviate the pain of the pressure being put on your toes. However, the right technique should significantly minimise the pressure by effectively distributing the load throughout your body.

So

What philosophies have you developed about your dance and your movements?
Do you learn multiple types of dances? What philosophies or principles about movements that may have helped you navigate across the various genres?

My long hiatus...

The year of 2011 was an eventful year for me as a performer and as a person. It was the year I had pushed myself to take more dance courses and perform more publicly.

Short+Sweet 2011 - Her Story: A Conversation

I did the ASWARA Short Course, tango, attended workshops by Lee Swee Keong, Michael Xavier Voon, and others, created a few new works - The Time Traveller, The White Scarf, and Her Story: A Conversation. I performed at a few small events, took part in Short+Sweet, which is the most exhausting, did PenangPAC opening ceremony and Pebbles, both with Rivergrass.

Myself and Angeline in a moment of truth...

At the same time, I was also working hard on the school concert. Despite handling such a large team of performers, I knew I reallly wanted to polish the performance quality in my students, where I dug deep into each and everyone of my dancers to get the best of them onto the stage.

It was also the year that I felt I have grown the most, facing myself, my weaknesses and building up my strengths. I had realigned my body, my mind, and my emotions.

Needless to say, the year left me exhausted. My juice was sucked dry. But more than that, all that realignment has left me with a strange new me. I didn't know what to do or how to dance with this new me. I stopped all existing dance activities and decided to go back to basics. I took ballet classes. But then I stopped, and I went back to contemporary. All in all, I have not been able to create anything for myself since the beginning of the year.

I needed the time to reflect, to settle in to my new body, learn about it, to tell new stories about myself, my life - a happier one, definately.

After so many month, I'm beginning to get some glimpses of new possibilities. I am looking forward to more dances to come, reflecting a freshed, newer me!

So, what does your creativity mean to you? How have your growth changed the works you produced? How do you come back from a long dry spell? Feel free to share your thoughts...

Till then, happy creating!

How to Really Jazz It Up...

Speaking of jazz, tap, broadway musicals and the like...

Do you love watching them? They surely are enjoyable, and a good show never fails to put a smile on your face!

But what makes a great jazz dancer?

You probably have a few jazz/musical dance performance you have in mind that was memorable and enjoyable, and if you are a dance student, may have tried doing.

In a lively number, the dancers would carry a disposition of happiness, joyousness, playfulness, showing how carefree they are with wide-open arms, opening their hearts with big smiles on their faces.

With the ladies, it's always with at least abit more sassy-sauciness, hinting how naughty and playful they are, teasing both the audience and the performing counterparts confidently, leaving everyone hanging on to their fingertips.

When I needed to choreograph a Singing In The Rain piece for my school concert, I started by watching the movie clip from youtube, and I instantly fell in love with the song, the dance, but most of all, Gene Kelly's charm and enthusiasm. Needless to say, it instantly puts a smile on my face. I knew that I would love to choreograph it, and that the kids would enjoy dancing to it.

Gene Kelly singing in the rain...

In a dance that requires movements to be BIG and expressions are BIG, it is easy to go overboard with doing too much, (although in musicals, the levels of acceptance are pushed a little further than others, as expressions are occasionally exaggerated for effect).

But a how does a good performer do BIG, without going overboard?

it stays true to emotions - meaning, instead of just a "blown up" kind of expression, it is instead an honest form of expression, like how a child or a baby would act, when overcame with glee.

But you might notice as well, that good performers are able to act out very subtly, those genuine moments of ease and calm, amist the all excitement - using a day-to-day gesture, a wink, an eyebrow raised, a smile - but secretly impregnanting the moment with anticipation, bulding up the pace for that one high point.

When I showed my student's this video, the saw a whole new level of enthusiasm! They noticed how playful he was and how he happy he is, finding new love and all. It truly conveys the meaning of "the joy of dance."

So, if you wanna do jazz, perhaps, you may ask yourselves these questions:
1. Do you dare to be BIG and stand out?
2. Do you dare to be different, be brave and be playful?
3. Can you embody that happy disposition, put on a smile on your face that is as bright as the sun?
4. Are you a happy person? Can you be happy in your mind, in your core, all through your hands and feet, and in all the muscles on your face, from your heart and through your eyes?

C'mon with the rain,

I've a smile on my face...

 

Until next time, happy dancing... :)

Posture and Alignment

Awhile ago, I attended a tango workshop held by a visiting tango teacher who is also a physiologist.

While her workshop was about the basics of close embrace tango, she spent most of the time focusing on posture and alignment to create the right “connection” (the most important element esp. in close embrace as connection is harder to form and the tight space between the partners demands a higher level of synchronicity). Of course, many experienced tangueros and tangueras were able to benefit from it, for the most part, because posture and alignment is the basis of movement itself, whatever form it is.

In the workshop, she taught us about what a healthy tango posture is like, and how a good connection means that we can feel each other’s legs even when we’re

During my first few months of tango, I had struggled with balancing and other connection issues.

It took me awhile to try and decode the dance itself. I was frustrated about being stuck in the beginner class, as I am more than astute with musicality and steps and basic stuffs like that, being a dancer.

I stopped going for classes and focus on practicing on the dance floor instead, while I try to decode the dance and because I don’t believe in just learning the steps.

The first turning point was when one popular, regional tango teacher visited, conducted one class and subsequently a workshop. I felt so relieved to realize that what was wrong was really my posture. The hand hold wasn’t right, the shoulder too stiff and what not. Of course, I was also being either too strong, trying to lead the leader or I totally lost my balance and control of my centre (I will write another article about tango and relationships)

I changed a couple of things about my posture and my dancing improved. But I still wasn’t very balanced. One other teacher during another workshop commented that my bum was sticking out. Hmm… it’s really hard to know what you’re doing when you’re just trying to focus on what you leader is trying to get you to do. So later, I learned to suck my bum in while I danced, and surely, I found much more balance in my steps.

However, my posture and alignment at that time was still pretty rubbish. There has always been a serious posterior tilt in my pelvis and tight posterior hip muscles, making my bum look like it’s always dropping behind. I have tried strengthening my core muscles, but somehow, it just failed to include the support for the base of my torso. At that time, I seemed to have accepted it as a natural state of my posture.

Until one day, a fellow tanguero shares a post from tangoandchaos.org on facebook about tango etiquette and the like. I started browsing around the site and found that the author of the website have a really deep and insightful knowledge and understanding of the dance, having an Argentinian girlfriend who is a very good tango salon dancer and having spent some years studying old milongueros closely, documenting their technique, their style and each of their uniqueness, which may vary, as tango salon is a truly improvisational and open for interpretations and independent development.

What is common however, is that the techniques of the dancers has evolved over the years, from their beginnings in the 1920’s to a very efficient, effective form. That the alignments and the postures the dancers adopt would be the most comfortable and healthy for their routine daily doses of dances, that can go on for hours. You can imagine if they don’t have a good posture, they may not even be able to dance anymore, as most of them would be around their 70s.

Studying his articles on posture, weight placement and style, I started practicing some of it, and found a strange disconnect between my torso and my hips (which I first started noticing when trying to improve my ochos). But now I realised that I can’t do a lot of things because of the disconnect! It’s still hard to balance myself, I can’t feel my leader’s legs, and I followed badly.

So I spend many hours, pushing my pelvis forward, finding that hip-torso connection, perfecting my walk, and finding a new muscle, my illiop psoas. I must say that finding this group of muscles was life changing to me, (or at least my posture). These muscles has been so weak and so underutilized, no wonder my body keeps compensating by tightening other muscles.

In the process of realignment, I also found and tightened my pelvic floor muscles and truly understood the meaning of “zipping up my core muscles.”

The realignment of my pelvis was a wonderful experience for me. I felt, for the first time, like I had a physical enlightenment, I was so thankful, so joyful, and dancing felt so different and wonderful! For the first time, my arms felt so free and long, like it can reach out to the world! I was also starting to feel more flexible, more balanced, and when I went back to tango, I was having the time of my life! I no longer need to worry about balance, or fearing what my leader is expecting me to do. I was just gliding along the dance floor, all the way…

Warning!:

1.        The realignment procedure will demand much greater core strength than when you are maligned – because your muscles have been trained to be wrong for so long.

2.       When we correct one problem area, other related problems that have been able to hide will tend to surface itself. So if you did realign or is consider realigning your posture, and if a different problem surfaces,:

a.       Check to see if you are doing it right

- Some muscles might need to tighten, but stiffening yourself up is not the right way either. Remember, our body is meant to be relaxed, lengthened, firm and flexible, not stiff and rigid.

- Learn to ask your body questions – What is right? What is natural? What do you need to do? What is the right way to do this? Learn to be an observer and let your body answer you this.

b.      If you’re doing it right, you don’t have to worry. Just focus on correcting the new problem instead. It might be strengthening or releasing certain muscles, or healing old injuries. If you can learn how to allow your body to do it right for you, then you should know what feels right and what doesn’t.

Until next time,

Happy dancing!

Jennifer

Core strengthening

Recently, I offered one of my girl some guidance to correct her posture and use of muscles. This girl takes ballet classes outside of school. I was choreographing a dance which she was the main character in, and I decided to include her doing some pirouettes in the dance. However, I noticed much stiffness in her shoulders while she was turning. She also habitually strains her neck muscles in pulling it long.

I saw that her strain stems from a weak core and pelvic floor. I guided her in a few floor exercises to strengthen these areas as well as activate her psoas muscles, all the while guiding her with words like lengthening and ask you body what to do. She responded well to these cues. When we tested fondus and grand battemands on the barre, the light on her face was the most satisfying expression of all... She was so happy that it all felt so different. I was moved.

Later, I instructed her to stand in first position and to squeeze in her pelvic floor muscles and zip up her abdomens, her neck and shoulders starts releasing in the way that she had never felt before! It was so amazing and I am so happy for her.

Her pirouette still needs work, and I'm confident that we will get to that soon.

But the philosophy?

Strenghten your core and your tensions will be relieved.
Dance is meant to be enjoyable, relaxing and stress free, but doing so requires you having a strong core. Keep your head and your sense of direction too.


Cheers...

Reflecting on Short+Sweet Dance - Her Story: A Conversation

The strenuous week has ended, all the practices, rehearsals and preperations are finally over, and the bitter sweet after-taste of having done something together with this group of people. We don't know yet who will be able to make it to the Gala Night, but I am finally able to find the time to reflect on this wonderful journey of delivering my dance in Short+Sweet, entitled Her Story: A Conversation.



Why...

My first intention of joining this friendly competition was to showcase my work to a wider audience, experiement with a blend of styles from different people, forcing myself to come out with a work which includes myself and other people, and hopefully gain some experience into becoming a better dancer, a better choreographer, a better person.

Why Her Story: A Conversation?

Well, it all started off with an idea to create a dance for myself, and 2 other friends of mine, each from a different dance background, with the intention of telling our own story, in our own unique way.

It was meant to be an experimentation of sorts, blending with the different unique styles of each individual, playing with group dynamics.

Me and my dear friend, we had good chemistry dancing together, and having done so for more than a year, I would really love to put out something I can craft especially for us. But unfortunately, an unexpected turn of events have forced us to part ways. I really missed those times, but perhaps it was just not meant to be. Soon, my other friend decided to withdraw herself as well, and I was left with well... myself. What story am I going to tell?

So fate has brought me together with 3 new dancers, which I got to know from the open audition. All from different backgrounds, one which has little dance training, all have no experience in contemporary dance or improvisation - the style in which I intend to work with. Nevertheless, I decided to go ahead with the idea, attempt to learn more about these people and of their style of dance, to see what I can come out with.

And so, It began with a conversation...

Her Story... because it's a girly thing, talking about what its like to be us, sharing our story.

A Conversation... because everyone has different opinions in life, and different ways of presenting their thoughts and feelings. How would these different dynamics interact with each other?


The process...

What story am I going to tell, what outcome was it going to be, I did not know.
From our first practice together, I have experimented with different improvisation exercises to bring out each dancer's unique language, their movement vocabulary, and also the characters that they embody within them. I believe that movements should be authentic. That dance should not be mere steps to memorise, but more of a communication of our emotions and thoughts inside.

Drawing experiences from my own training in contemporary dance and improvisation, plus the workshops I have attended in creative movements and in butoh, along with my appreciation for different types of music and movements, I worked with the layers of storyline and characterisations, drawing from my own experiences and my life story - a story which continues to unfold itself towards the end of this journey.


Pushing the limits...

It was a pleasant start at the begining of our practices as I was having end of academic year break at my school, so I had plenty of time to think things through, to work out my choreography and music choice as I recover from the school's arduous year-end concert. In between that, I was just keeping myself busy with other activities and plans, aside from my weekly contemporary class, and actually managed to spend alot of time doing tango. We were having rehearsals twice a week, one on a weekday and the other on a Sunday, which we are fortunately able to put together despite the busy schedules of my fellow dancers.

But it all starts to get a little overwhelming when school began in September. After having rested for a whole month, my body is not quite used to the strain of dancing all day, all week. It was physically exhausting, but I still manage to cope, along with Tuesday tangos and practicas, Friday milongas, and contemporary class on Thursdays. I also had additional CCA to teach now. Kept myself really busy for the whole month, trying my best to stay strong. The deadline is approaching, but it feels like I'm yet to be ready.

It took me a while to decide on and finalise the song choice. Over the last 2 weeks of practice, I find myself spending extra time to work one on one with my dancers and adjusting certain parts to suit my dancers better as I learn more about them. Desperately needed more sleep. No time for tango now.

On my side, I was also doing alot of reading and soul-searching, for various reasons, but it all adds up to the equation.

28 September 2011 was an amazing day, body wise. It was the day I had discovered certain muscles that helps with my posture, and almost like magic, I have realigned my hip joint-pelvis-lower abdomen. It was an experience of joy, having found the right alignment for my body, and especially around this area which has hindered with my dancing in many ways. I wasn't sure it was going to last. My teacher said I should continue practicing. It was a Wednesday, one week left to our show. I was delighted at how my body moved differently with this new-found posture, which comes with a new feeling of control and freedom. My limbs moved with ease, I feel so large like I own the world. But then again, on the following Monday, I woke up in horror to find that my hips dropping back to where it was before. I spend the rest of the day trying to realign it back again. I'm not sure if it is the same as how it was on Wednesday, but I guess I understood what it means by having to continue practicing. The muscles are not strong yet, and probably gaining a few extra pounds from the heavy meals over the weekend doesn't help. Fortunately, I am able to get it back up, and I can go back to practicing my usual stuff again.

Mentally, I am starting to feel lethargic with all the things I need to work on, including the maddening task of getting the costumes done. With the shopping, finding tailors, figuring out how to make the design work, I ended up with no choice by to do it myself, a la Project Runway, and 4 pieces at that! Thank alot to my Mei Sin and my mom who helped with the sewing, but I swear to never to this again. At least not 4 of them. By Monday, I managed to get most of the sewing done except for 1 little part. Myself and 2 of my dancers worked together to stick sequins on them, hopefully to glam it up for the stage.

So, when the mind is tired, emotions starts to crumble too. I was begining to feel inferior and uncertain as the dates draw closer. I was afraid that I've done would not be good enough. As much as my friends and family give their support and encourage me, it couldn't help when my self-esteem hits rock bottom after our tech rehearsal on Monday. I wish I could just dig a hole in the ground and disappear into it...

By Tuesday, I decided that I couldn't go on like this anymore... that if not for the fact that I've spent too much effort into the costumes and having other dancers to be answerable to, I would be tempted to withdraw in the last minute. I gave a call to my coach, hopefully she would be able to help with this emergency. One thing she said that finally managed to put my mind back into place was that I should be focusing on me, my music and my dance...

Just me, my music and my dance...

This phrase saved my life. I can be no further from the truth, that my dance should be just that - me, my music, and my dance. That all this panicking was the result of focusing too much on the competition, what would the judges think, what would the audiences think... forgetting that, when I am able to put all of myself out there, I would have done my best, just like how I have did before. That I have done this before, I have moved my audiences before, and I am going to do it again, with my dance now. One of my dancers did mention too, that it would be too late to change anything now, for what we put on stage, would be what we remembered from what we have practiced for so long. And that the dance should be danced just the way it was meant to be danced. No fancy moves just for the sake of fancy moves and what not.

And so, Tuesday night rehearsal, I bring myself back up, believe in what I am here to do, on our dress rehearsal day.


Showtime...

The first day started off okay, my energy was there, though with parts I think I could do better. I felt more sure of myself on the day before, but it was all good, cos of the support by beloved friends. They even bought me a bouquet of flowers to show how much they love me. Ofcourse, they made me feel like a star already! It would have been fun to go off and party with them after the show is over, but we still have 3 more night to go, and I have to salvage what little sleep time I have left. But it was tonnes of pressure lifted off my shoulder.

This routine proved to be strenuous as lethargy sets in on day 2, and by day 3, I was drawing from what little inch of energy I have left in my body and mind. Supporters continue to pour in, though in smaller droves compared to the first night. We know you guys love us no matter what, and we love you too, bu I can't wait for the Friday night to sleep through and recharge my mind and my body and prepare for the Saturday.

Saturday would've been THE day, with tickets being sold out, and the attendance of my family, colleague, students, fellow dance mate, and as I later discovered - an unexpected ex-student who came just to see me! I have tried to prepare myself and my dancers in many ways over the past couple of days, hoping to be able bring up the energy as a group. But I felt like my dancing has become stale. Its meaning, shallowed, and my sensitivity to the music subdued. The dance has lost its life... So tonight, I feel that I have to do my dance justice by telling its story, from deep down my heart - the same way I have done before in the past, but have not yet done in this competition. I began to listen to music usually moves me from deep down. I let my heart guide me as to what music to choose, and I let my movements flow with it when I was warming up. By the time I get to the core of it, I began so sob uncontrollably. Perhaps, there is still the pain unsettled that is to be told in my story... so much for the joy I thought I have found, I fell back to where I was still missing out on, because it is where I really am right now. But I loved how my body was working. It flows freely with the music, it was balanced, it was strong. I stand tall. And when your grand battements are effortless, you know you're doing it right.

With this, I brought my pain, my longing, my passion and hopes for the future, right onto the stage, and gave a new meaning to my movements again. So much for being syok sendiri, dancing in a way my dancers have not seen me danced before, I knew I have given my all, done all I could, and I have no more fear or regrets by the time this is over.


Fulfilling my objective...

I have done my best, though it may not be the best of my best...

I managed to present my work and my dance to a whole new group of audience... which was my original intention.

I took a risk by doing this experiment, applying the things I have learned, working with a whole new group of people, who are very different from me, with pleasant results... so I'm happy about it...

I have learned a whole lot of stuffs, working with people, working on things, technical, artistic, what a choreographer must do to fulfill a task...

I have pushed my body to a limit I have not seen since my short course at Aswara beginning of this year.

I have pushed my time, my energy, my mind, my emotions... hopefully to new levels of strengths and endurance.

And finally, I have relearned about myself, of what I can or cannot do, of how my dance should be.


Despite the many times I asked myself... "What have I gotten myself into?" I'm glad I managed to push through. I got what I've bargained for, perhaps a little more. Who knows what the future lies... but for now, I'd just love to incubate for awhile, let it all settle in, before I can squeeze for my creative juices again. And for all participants for Week 2, I wish you all the best too.


(Thanks and much love to my dear sister for helping put this wonderful synopsis together...)

A girl. A journey of finding life, love, friendship and sisterhood.


One true self, finding herself with three new sisters. How would she tell her story?


It began with a conversation…


Signing out now,

Cheers.

Performance at Core Design Gallery

Recently done a performance at Core Design Gallery for their opening for their Surreallusion (Surreal Illusion) art exhibition.

Here's a newly choreographed piece for their theme, called The Time Traveller.

And the Tree made an appearance!

Quite different this time though...

Anyway, it was an interesting opportunity to perform to a different crowd - artists - in an art gallery.

And thanks alot to Scarlette and everyone at Core Design Gallery for their wonderful support, assistance and uploads.

Do visit their website or facebook page for more info and latest updates on art exhibits, services and workshops.